Transvigor / Lingster's Big Mouth: 06/2002

OUR FRIEND RNM1222 does it again on Renderosity, with a muscular equestrienne.

9 CHICKWEED LANE is cute today. It's an ode to old Johnny Weissmuller's portrayal of Tarzan. I always felt that Buster Crabbe got the short end of the stick.

BEEN LISTENING TO THE CRANBERRIES' RENDITION OF AVE MARIA TODAY. Somehow Dolores' keening and wailing Celt-style through lyrics such as "Benedicta tu in mulieribus" isn't as good as I'd hoped, but still sufficiently pretty to make it worthwhile. There aren't too many pop stars who do Latin, so it's doubly welcome. Chalk it up to my fetish for non sequiter cover versions.

READER MICHAEL FINDS A FMG STORY on one of the giantess boards. It's called "SuperPlumper".

FUNNY LICENSE PLATE AND STORY, right here.

A BETTER LINK TO MY HONORABLE MENTION: Right here, folks.

YECH. For future reference, you might want to avoid following tekka maki with Entenmann's Chocolate Chip cookies. Groan.

I AM SO GLAD IT'S THE WEEKEND.

KICKASS MUSCULAR WARRIOR ART ON RENDEROSITY: Rnm1222 has been around for awhile, but I think this is his first really muscular female render.

THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED VICTIM OF LOOKISM OF NOTRE DAME. I'm only half-kidding.

LINGSTER FINALLY WINS SOMETHING! (Sort of.) Check here and click on the Stephanie Contest link on the bottom of the left menu bar. Honorable mention! Woo-hoo! (Link corrected.)

FROM THE "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?" FILE: Tricking women into taking off their clothes in order to receive "satellite mammograms".

THE WOMEN OF ENRON are in Playboy this month. Here's an article from the Houston Chronicle.

DID ANYONE GET THAT SOAP OPERA MUSCLE GIRL on tape?

A VERY GOOD REASON TO SEDUCE A WOMAN TODAY: It makes them feel better!

I SEE THIS SORT OF THING, and all sorts of "ethnocentric" thoughts pop into my head.

TV ALERT!!! A reader writes:

It looks like channel 4 may have some femmuscle on the show Passions this Wed. From the preview, the creepy kid on the show sets up some sort of wrestling match between one of the characters and a big muscle girl. Since the kid is shown at one point in the preview with Don King hair, I am guessing some sort of bizarre dream sequence or something.Passions is on at 2pm on NBC in the New York area. Somebody tape it!

I JUST SAW A REPORTER ON NBC (Martin Fletcher, I think), note that Arafat has "outlasted nine U.S. Presidents". Damnit but I hate that cliche. I've heard Castro described as having outlasted nine, and various other despots and tin horn dictators as having outlasted varying numbers of U.S. Presidents. I even heard Margaret Thatcher complain that Saddam Hussein was still in power long after Bush (41) and John Major were gone. That's such crap--the U.S. is a constitutional, democratic republic, with a two-term limit on presidential service. We're not Haiti or Chile or some other country with a "president-for-life", and the fact that our heads of state come and go in an orderly fashion is something of which we should be proud--not embarrassed. If our media advertises it as a weakness, our enemies will see it as weakness rather than as something to aspire to.

I HAVE LINKED TO "NORMAL" BOB SMITH BEFORE, but I never noticed his art. Like this, this, this and this. Oh, yeah. And this.

And then there's some older stuff he's done, such as this Madonna (Ciccone, not Blessed) influenced piece. Also, these pen and ink grotesques (1, 2).

His newest stuff includes this drawing of Christa Bauch.

Lots of nudity.

"THE SOHO LOVE GODDESS", from the January, 2000 issue of New York Magazine. Interesting bit:

Beyond that, Hanson has had long-term relationships with artist Joe Coleman and, more famously, the cartoonist Robert Crumb. It's probably no coincidence, one way or another, that Crumb's images echo Hanson's own muscular vision of female power. At dinner on the night they met, Crumb was asked how he'd like to get home and replied that he wanted to ride on Dian's back. Tourists in the Russian Tea Room snapped photos as he leaped aboard the woman and rode her off the premises. "Oh, her legs were even more powerful back then," Crumb wistfully recalls. "She could go for blocks and blocks!" This link and the one below I'm getting from googling Crumb AND muscular, looking for references to Robert Crumb's cartoons of muscular women.

FRANS MENSINK'S ART: Check this stuff out--no muscle to speak of, but the stuff is high-quality and there's quite a bit of it.

NATIONAL ENQUIRER: CHRISTINA RICCI BREAST REDUCTION. Do they make this stuff up? I mean, the Rosie thing might be possible, but I think rather than a surgical reduction, Miss Ricci just lost a lot of weight. The article says she had the surgery in February, 2000, but this picture was taken in 2001, and while she's not as big as this picture taken in 1999, she also shows less weight in her face, belly and arms. To my eyes, the newer picture isn't of someone who had breast reduction surgery, or who sees her breasts as a detriment to her career.

ROSIE EXPLODES: She sure is getting big! But the article says 300 pounds, and I'm not sure I believe that. A person who's 300 pounds but only 5'7" is probably not entirely mobile.

SERIOUS GEEK STUFF: eBay runs a live Star Trek auction, with props and wardrobe items from the original series.

BURGOS DOES STUNNER, at eBay. Check soon! He's been pulling them down shortly after the auction ends.

IT IS REALLY HOT TODAY. I got home and cranked up the A/C--I put in my window units over the weekend. But I was just drenched in my own sweat.

GOT A MESSAGE FROM LEEE LAST WEEK, but forgot to post the contents:

AltaWoman

ROMMEL WRITES:

http://www.luannsroom.com/comics/luann/archive/luann-20020602.html

GALVATRON DOES CHRISTINE AGUILERA, at the BEA.

TROUBLE COMING: Osama bin Ladin is claimed to be alive. I hope to God we don't get hit again like 9/11, but the very fact that it's a possibility shows that we need to take the gloves off.

A NEW LINGSTER RENDER on Wreck Shop's message board.

I WAS JUST MAKING FUN OF BOY GEORGE THE OTHER DAY, who knew he was a powerhouse?

ROB DUNN has a new story at DtV, called Carl's New Life. It's about a guy who elects to be cryongenically frozen to avoid certain death from cancer, and is revived 8,500 years in the future, to find that everyone is hypermuscular, and that he is the most underdeveloped person on Earth.

MERDE. Those darn Deutsche beat the US.

I GOT EMAIL FROM FIT DINA, subject line, "yes I do check my log files..:-)" She's sure purty, don't you think?

READER SEDRICK SCORES BIG:

I checked it, and there's a scene in the preview where Rosario Dawson, who some of you may remember from Josie and the Pussycats, is morphed into a lightweight bodybuilder. Very nice work. I sometimes get Rosario Dawson confused with Gina Torres, who was on Cleopatra 2525, and currently has a recurring role on Alias.

Anyway, I didn't link directly to the Pluto Nash trailer at the Apple site--they're blocking direct referrals at the server, I think--you need to have their cookie or something. So go here, and then click on "Pluto Nash" under "Warner Brothers".

AM I THE ONLY ONE GETTING TIRED OF THIS GUY? This is his sixth try at circling the world in a hot air balloon--couldn't he take up lawn darts or something?

I THINK THAT MAYBE FIT DINA CHECKS HER LOG FILES. There's a missive on the front page, apparently directed at a procrastinating friend of hers. She's added some new images of herself in recent months, which is nice. I guess I'll find out if she checks the referring page from her log files, too.

THE ALASKA CLIMATE RESEARCH CENTER DISSES THE NEW YORK TIMES: I pointed to the Times article the other day--looks like climate scientists in Alaska think the "Gray Lady" is full of crap. I still think it would be a good thing if temperatures were to rise in Alaska, though. Really, who wouldn't?

TODAY'S U.S. SOCCER VICTORY PUTS ME IN MIND OF THREE 19TH CENTURY BON MOTS:

"Poor Mexico! So far from God, and so close to the United States." --President Porfirio Diaz, during the U.S./Mexican War of 1846-48

"Not only did they steal half the country, they stole the half with all the roads!" --Still current Mexican joke

"God protects children, fools and the United States of America" --Otto von Bismarck

I WAS UNHAPPY WITH ARCHIVING GLITCHES using the monthly format, so I've switched back to weekly and moved the Archives section further down the left menu bar, to avoid clutter.

DOCTOR QUATRO POSTED AN ANIMATION OF A GORGON STRIP, called "Pumpkin". Really great quality FMG.

A YAHOO! GROUP TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON: "The Physique Comparison". It looks to me like the founder is trying to encourage people to post pictures taken "before" and "after" their weightlifting programs.

LAUGHED MYSELF SILLY OVER DILBERT TODAY.

GALVATRON GIVES BUFFY A MAKEOVER on the BEA. It's a good job, but what's interesting about it to me is that I just read a review of Scooby-Doo that labeled Sarah Michelle Gellar as "voluptuous." Now, if she's voluptuous, I've been using that word wrong for a long time. Maybe the reviewer saw Galvatron's version of Scooby-Doo.

MEXICAN SOCCER TRAUMA: I feel bad for them. It means so much to Mexico, and so little to the United States. Here's what one man said:

"I think that the United States always has seen us as inferior and it always has tried to humiliate us," said Alejandro Duarte, 41, an administrator at the National Polytechnic Institute. "And now they've really gone and done it." The rest of the article is here. I read somewhere, recently, that the U.S.' incompetence in soccer served as a sort of release valve, in that it was something big that we weren't good at. And so people in other countries could look down at us for it, in that one thing. So much for that.

FFEJL WRITES:

http://slate.msn.com/?id=2066033

OK, so there are two real questions here. In answer to the first, yes, I knew who Osama bin Ladin was before 9/11. He was directly implicated in the two embassy bombings in Africa and the attack on the USS Cole--this was covered in news stories at the time. President Clinton even identified him by name as a terrorist mastermind in at least one speech. There's also very good reason to believe bin Ladin was behind the '93 attack on the WTC.

As for number two, hindsight being easy, well, it's easy for me because I was once in an almost identical situation. I alluded to this in my earlier post, but now I'll spell it out. In the spring of 1990, I was working for the Federal Government in a capacity I will not identify--but it was a very junior, very unexciting position. One day I was approached at my desk by a woman named Jeannette Demarest. She rambled on for some time about how two radio disc jockeys in Denver had used a secret CIA weapon to cause her son's head to explode, killing him. She further rambled that she had received no satisfaction from the FCC or from her congresswoman, Patricia Schroeder. She said nothing that would indicate she was planning violence, but I had a funny feeling that she was dangerous. I left my work area for a moment and asked a co-worker to call the police--a Federal police unit, incidentally--to have her removed, and when they arrived I told them that I thought she might be dangerous. I have no idea what happened between that date and November 27, 1991, when she assassinated an employee of the Federal Communications Commission in New York.

Not many people have the talent to hide that kind of crazy. The Ted Bundy's of the world are few and far between. Jeanette Demarest was worried about radio waves, but the only thing she was broadcasting was "dangerous crazy person," to everyone around her. Mohammed Atta was possibly even less skilled at concealment than that.

I'll also tell you this--bulletin boards and refrigerator magnets at Federal agencies are awash in notices to call the FBI in the event of any suspicious activity, and have been for years, maybe decades. There is no excuse for Bryant's lack of action.

READER CHANEY WRITES:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2114107915

Well, that doesn't suck.

INTERESTING BIT OF NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE: Quite heartening little femuscle story, actually. The article appears to be a plant from Mary Matalin, whose conjugal affiliation renders her permanently suspect in my eyes.

I JUST REALIZED THAT THEY MEAN "CHUTE", NOT "SHOOT". Damn, that's a dumb mistake to make. Slapdash. Although--in Smith's defense--Webster gives this possibly compatible definition for shoot (noun): "4 [probably by folk etymology from French chute] a : a rush of water down a steep or rapid b : a place where a stream runs or descends swiftly". So I guess we'll let them get away with this malapropism, this time--besides, it looks like some other opportunist got his greedy hands on Moviepoopchute.com before Smith. But again, that's his own damn fault--he read the script first.

KEVIN SMITH & COMPANY LAUNCH MOVIEPOOPSHOOT.COM. Apparently "Moviepoopshoot.com" was a Web news site mentioned in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I like the Website, even though I have ambivalent feelings for Kevin Smith and the whole "Jay and Silent Bob" ouevre.

I mean, on the one hand I look at those two (Smith and Jason Mewes) and it occurs to me that I look really good for my age, and that I'm a real natty dresser. And even though I'm not a movie star, I haven't been arrested for heroin possession in Keansburg, either. Just being in Keansburg is bad enough--this jackass actually got himself arrested for possession of heroin while he was there. So if you look at it that way, they make me feel really good about myself. Plus they're from Jersey and like comics, which sorta makes them my kinsmen.

But then there are the movies. Clerks was tremendous, but it's kinda been downhill from there. And I wish to God that Smith would stop dressing like a slob--I saw him on Letterman last year and I was embarrassed for my home state. Everybody said it was such a clever idea to cast Alanis Morissette as God in Dogma, but I thought it was trite--Neil Jordan did it before and better--casting Sinead O'Connor as the Blessed Virgin in The Butcher Boy. (And incidentally, Jordan's movie provided a much brainier and nuanced indictment of the Roman Catholic Church than did Dogma.) And when Smith was bitching that Tim Burton stole the idea for the Planet of the Apes ending from him, I thought back to his casting for the Supreme Being in Dogma.

Which brings us back to the Web site, which I must admit is really well-done and interesting. I think my favorite parts are the comics. "Monkeyman" is hilarious, and "Soda" isn't bad, either. I hope they can keep it up!

THIS IS A LITTLE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Can you believe this wacko? Holding people hostage in a bar and covering them with gasoline? I've never been in that place but I've walked by it a hundred times.

HOLY SHIT. The U.S. beat Mexico! That's got to be a little bit embarrassing.

ON A LARK I PICKED UP A COPY OF MUSCULAR DEVELOPMENT, the venerable bodybuilding magazine. Boy, has it changed. There's valuable information in it, but written in a crass, vulgar, Penthouse style. I was really astonished--it's as if the editors are trying to be a Maxim or FHM, but only achieving an obnoxious, raunchy arrogance. But maybe they're getting the effect they want--it's very easy to believe the target audience is high school football players, but...why alienate everybody else?

SCOOBY-DOO HAS A LOT OF TRANSFORMATIONAL FETISH STUFF, believe it or not! Even muscle growth! But not, alas, female muscle growth. There's a lot of mind-swapping, even trans-gender mind-swapping, if you're into that. Linda Cardellini is, as I expected, one very hot Velma. The movie wasn't even that awful. It's watchable.

A NEW FEMALE MUSCLE GROWTH STORY at DtV, about Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I've long had an idea for a Mary Ann muscle growth story, but it would be an alternative plotline for episode #71, "Pass the Vegetables, Please" in which Gilligan discovers a crate of radioactive seeds that confer temporary super powers on the castaways. In the actual episode, Gilligan eats the irradiated spinach and becomes temporarily super-strong. In my hypothetical episode, Mary Ann would eat the radioactive spinach and quickly find herself growing more and more muscular.

I'M GONNA BITE THE BULLET and go see Scooby-Doo. I'm doing it mainly to see Linda Cardellini in action, of course.

HERE'S THE NEW YORK TIMES getting its knickers in a bunch because the average temperature in Alaska has increased by 7 degrees (fahrenheit) in the last 30 years. Really, isn't one of the big problems with Alaska that it's too damned cold there? Seems to me if you're gonna bitch and moan about global warming all the time, you're obliged to at least tip your hat to the positive externalities of the situation. Alaska's less cold than it was--that's a good thing.

MORE LYRICS FROM TOBY KEITH'S NEW HIT:

Toby's the guy on the 10-10-220 commercials with Mike Piazza and ALF--burly country/western singer. I wanna meet the guy who said, "I know! Let's team up a beefy redneck musician, a New York paisan homerun hitter, and an obnoxious puppet from a mediocre 1980s TV sitcom to sell long distance service! It'll be great!" I mean, that's a weird kinda genius, right there.

HERE'S A NICE SITE I NEVER SAW BEFORE: MuscleFemale.com.

OK, NOW THIS IS JUST COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS. Mick Jagger?!? Come on. I mean, why don't they just knight Boy George, for chrissakes?

BY THE WAY, while you're downloading that Simpsons episode from KaZaA, see if you can't get the new Toby Keith song that's put egg on Peter Jennings' face--"Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue" aka "The Angry American". It will make you feel good about being an American (if you are one). And it will give you a feeling of exhilaration almost as good as personally squeezing the life out of one of those remaining goddamned Islamist sons of bitches who have thus far managed to avoid having a Daisy Cutter blow their brains out their asses.

I've been listening to the song five or six times a day.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE "STRETCH DUDE AND CLOBBER GIRL", part of an episode of The Simpsons wherein Lisa Simpson is exposed to radiation and becomes muscular and super-strong, just search on KaZaA for "Simpsons Halloween Special". The special in question is number ten, and that segment was the last one of three, I believe. The file name is "Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror X.mpg".

SO I MET THE FUTURE MRS. LINGSTER TODAY. Of course, she doesn't know she's the future Mrs. Lingster. She just thinks she gave her phone number to some cute guy she met this morning. I'll have to disabuse her of this notion over the next few weeks.

ESTOY MIRANDO SABADO GIGANTE EN UNIVISION, because Sophia Vergara is a guest. The problem is that Ms. Vergara is not wearing revealing clothing, which is kind of odd because every other woman--cast, crew, audience--is wearing revealing clothing. So what's the point of having Sophia Vergara on if she's wearing a parka?

BY THE WAY, I just realized I forgot to post a link to Jilly Milly, part 8. Big muscle girl in this one.

SO I HAVE GOTTEN A BUCKETLOAD OF MAIL correcting me on my astronomy. The article I linked to was in error, and I swallowed the error hook, line and sinker--55 Cancri is only about 41 light years off, not 41 million. If it was 41 million light years away, we wouldn't know it existed--it would be outside our galaxy. But since I got so much mail from it, I'm going to begin making regular errors, just to encourage you folks.

OH, SHIT. Art Bell just came on the radio. It's past my bedtime!

IF THINGS WERE EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO WHAT THESE MORONS SUGGEST, the government would have rounded them up, too. Actually, it's a tempting image--Susan Sarandon laboring in a gulag with Ed Asner, Noam Chomsky and Casey Kasem. "Sorry, Susan, here's your gruel. No more early morning scooter rides to Dean & Deluca for breakfast!"

By the way, I saw Chris Noth today in Cooper Square. He was standing outside the 6 train subway stop, talking loudly on a cell phone. I stopped and gawked at him as I tried to figure out where I knew him from, and he sort of glared at me. He's really tall. He was on Law & Order back in the old days--along with Big Pauly.

SO I WAS THINKING SOME MORE ABOUT RACHAEL LEIGH COOK. Imagine the changes to the movie She's All That if Freddy Prinze, Jr.'s character decided to gamma-irradiate Ms. Cook's character in order to effect her Pygmalionesque transformation.

LINGSTER NEEDS WOMEN! Women readers, please drop me a line. I'd like to have you record yourself reading a FMG script. I can use electronic tools to disguise your voice so it doesn't sound too much like you. I'm equipped to do some really cool things now, but I need some help.

TV ALERT: There might be some fitnessy muscle on Elimidate tonight.

KYLIE MINOGUE FANS: Check this video. Hope you got broadband! Those of you in the UK may have seen it already. From the blurb: "Want to see Kylie Minogue in erotic underwear riding a mechanical bull to whip up a sweat? Then we have the commercial for you." The mechanical bull is upholstered in scarlet crushed velvet, btw.

SYLVESTER STALLONE IS TINY: OK, IMDB says that Rachael Leigh Cook is five-feet-two, and here she is standing next to Sylvester Stallone. If they ever make a She-Hulk movie, wouldn't it be cool for Ms. Cook to be cast as Jennifer Walters, and for a CGI giant, green, muscular version of her to be cast as the She-Hulk?

JOHNATHAN V. LAST with the last word on soccer, and those petulant ingrates in South Korea.

South Korea--

a country where they're still seriously pissed off about a skating disqualification during the Olympics

anti-American demonstrations are frequent and well-attended

they have their children's tongues surgically altered so they can speak English better

they are dependent on us for the security of their nation

and they eat dogs!

What's up with that? Is that a passive-aggressive country, or what? On the up side, Korean women often have attractive, somewhat muscular builds. So I guess that evens it all out.

FUNNY LITTLE THREAD ABOUT MAD MAGAZINE FEMUSCLE going on at Wreck Shop's message board.

ASTROMERS DISCOVER SOLAR SYSTEM LIKE OURS: Tragically it's 41 million light years away. Which means that if we sent a colony of mice there, they could be people by the time they arrived.

A REVIEW FROM TWO YEARS AGO OF THE FRAILTY MYTH. Rebecca Mead wrote this review for the New Yorker, of Colette Dowling's interesting, intriguing, but ultimately somewhat silly thesis that women would be the physical equals of men (controlling for height) were they not trained as children to believe in their own frailty. Still, a good read.

THE INDISPENSIBLE MARK STEYN on the indefensible Johnelle Bryant, and the Islamists in our midst.

READER ROB WRITES:

Footy Channel

Everybody clear on that?

I HAVE TO ADMIT IT, I love getting mail from outside North America. I can see these people--200 or 300 hits between midnight and 6 AM New York time--but they move silently most of the time. I suspect we have a lot of readers in China--a billion and a half people can't be wrong! But I never hear from them.

A READER FROM NEW ZEALAND WRITES:

Well, there you go. But don't the Aussies call soccer "footy"? I know the Scots do. (This gets more and more complicated.) And what about Argentina? That country can't get a break lately!

HOW IS IT THAT MOVING WATER CAN CARVE MASSIVE CANYONS IN SOLID ROCK, but I have to use abrasive brushes and chemical solvents to get rid of the ring around my toilet bowl? I mean, whatever that ring is made of, it's sure to be less durable than SOLID ROCK!

HOW COME NEW ZEALANDERS CALL FOOTBALL "SOCCER"? I know why we Americans do it--because we already had a sport called "football" when the modern incarnation of football/soccer arrived on our shores. But I thought we were the only ones who called it "soccer." All this kicking and shouting is actually damned tiring. I went into a bar for lunch the other day (don't ask), and there were a bunch of Limeys in there, wearing England football jerseys. They were piss drunk and had been there since 5:30 AM, watching the "matches!" And they had a baby with them!

DO A GOOGLE SEARCH ON "HYPERMUSCULAR AMAZON" and what do you find? Nothing. And if you do a search for "Asian fitness women" all you get is a link to one porn site. Millions of Web sites, and yet I'm the first non-pornographer to write "Asian fitness women" and "hypermuscular amazon" and post them on the Web. I can't believe it.

I JUST SAW A ROTOSHOP-MADE Toyota commercial. God, I love Rotoshop.

MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD: Galvatron is irrepressible. (NUDITY)

HAVE I BEEN SMOKING TOO MUCH CRACK, or is there something wrong with this thingie being sold--in broad Weblight--over the Internet? It reminds me of all that novelty crap you could buy out of the comic books years ago, except somehow I think this thing might really work. Isn't possession of burglary tools in and of itself a crime in some jurisdictions?

A BOOK WORTH BUYING? Has any reader seen the interior illustrations in this book?

AND ANOTHER ONE! OK, loyal readers, I posted a little story snippet and expanded the render (and the girl!) a bit, and posted it here at FMG2. NUDITY!

HEY BOYOS AND GIRLOS: I posted a new render at Renderosity. This is my attempt at high art, so if you see a button that says anything about voting for the Poser Hot 20, you should click it. There's nudity in the render.

STATS:

WHOOPS! Milavitsa is in Belarus, not Russia.

AND MORE ON THE RUSSIAN THEME: I first saw a picture of this girl a few years ago, and was immediately smitten. I mean, that's perfection for you, right there. She's a model for a Russian underwear company, a position which I imagine provides many rewards. But now they have another model, for whom I also feel some fondness.

CONFLICT. I read this article, and one part of my brain was thinking "Losers!", while another part was wondering if it would work.

Hey, since we're talking about Russian women, what was the name of that Russian girl who transformed herself over two years from a pipsqueak to a hypermuscular amazon? I can't recall. Her photos were in WPW a few years back--the "before" showed a 5'7" inch girl who probably weighed 105 pounds, the "after" photos showed a 160 pound musclegirl. And the photos were unquestionably of the same woman, within the space of just a few years.

SO EVERYBODY'S BUZZING about the preview NBC is showing for Hidden Hills. Apparently one of the male leads has very vivid fantasies, a lá the first season or two of Ally McBeal. One of these fantasies follows his wife being prescribed some kind of hormones, and he fantasizes her built like Ms. Universe in lingerie, while posing and acting sexually aggressive (down, boy!). A preview containing this scene is available at the link above. It's not clear to me when NBC will start running this show, but it is set for the 9:30 Tuesday slot in the fall. The wife is played by the really extraordinarily attractive Paula Marshall. This is her (on the right). You might remember her from the Seinfeld episode where George and Jerry are falsely "outed" as gay.

A CUTE LITTLE BURGOS DRAWING on eBay. I like the girl!

9 CHICKWEED LANE is cool again today.

ANYBODY GO TO THE PUERTO RICAN PARADE TODAY? I think most New Yorkers went into hiding--the 2000 parade was such a fiasco that it's got a bad reputation now. But I was just watching the replay of today's on one of New York's multiplicity of Spanish-language stations, and there were some really busty girls wearing GOYA t-shirts (the bean company, not the artist), dancing frenetically before the foot of the GOYA float.

EEGORE HAS BEEN BUSY: Check out this scan at Wreck Shop's site.

BURGOS HAS SOME NEW STUFF ON EBAY:

She-Hulk as member of the Legion of Super-Heroes

A weird Catwoman drawing

Hellcat

The Jaguar

Catspaw

Quite a bit on the cat theme, huh?

MORE ON LOU DOBBS from the New York Post. On both this matter and on the DOJ prosecution of Enron, Dobbs has shown a lot of balls, IMHO.

ABOUT TWELVE YEARS AGO I briefly crossed paths with someone I considered to be potentially very dangerous, in a situation not entirely different than the one that Ag Dept manager was in. I had an inkling of what she was capable of, and notified the police. The police interviewed her, ultimately did very little, and six months later I saw on TV that she had killed another woman. I don't feel any guilt about that one.

On the other hand, there's a guy I went to high school with who I know will one day kill someone, if he has not already. I am just waiting for the headline. When that happens I will feel enormous guilt, even though there's nothing I could or can lawfully do to stop it.

[correction: the shooting took place 18 months after I met the killer.]

MARKNEW'S JILLY MILLY PART SEVEN is available now at DtV.

I'M STILL BURNED UP about that article I posted yesterday. I mean, she's a federal employee, a man came in who was obviously an Islamic terrorist (which I'm henceforth calling an "Islamist", thanks to Lou Dobbs!), and it didn't even cross her mind that he was up to no good! He behaved so much like a terrorist that if an actor portrayed a terrorist in such a fashion, he'd be dinged for excessive melodrama. It's mind-boggling. Other writers who have talked about this attitude are John Derbyshire at National Review Online and Peggy Noonan at the Wall Street Journal. Americans are not much more serious about preventing terrorism than they were before 9/11, and I am afraid the cost for that nonchalance will be high.

I would do anything to prevent another attack on the United States. I would damn my soul to Hell for acts of savage cruelty if I thought it could prevent my country from being attacked again. I would stop at nothing.

I SAW AN INFOMERCIAL FOR THE FIRM THIS MORNING. About 10 years ago I had a girlfriend who was big into The Firm videos. She was a petite brunette with gorgeous little muscle bulges all over her body from working out with weights. She would get promotional stuff in the mail from The Firm, and I would sometimes swipe it. So I went digging through a drawer in my filing cabinet just now, and under the power cord for a radar detector that was stolen out of my car in 1995, found the Spring/Summer '93 issue of Firm Believers. The cover is graced with a photo of a beautiful woman who would not have seemed out of place on the cover of Cosmo at the time, save for her muscular shoulders. Inside there are many pictures of athletic and muscular women, but what really did it for me were the testimonials, such as:

major

The show this morning was more of the same. Women talking about how good they look and feel, and then false-whispering "And I've gotten so strong!" Man, that's a turn on.

READER ROB WRITES:

http://www.msnbc.com/news/760406.asp

THE DUMBEST PERSON IN AMERICA. Right here folks.

READER MIKE WRITES:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/020605/170/1ndtv.html

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/020605/170/1ndtx.html

Now the first one I could take or leave, but the second one is Nell McAndrew, who is just a big sexy girl. She is often seen as a Lara Croft lookalike. You may have seen this photo of her before. She definitely looks to have gained some inches on her chest and on her arms, though--welcome developments, all.

LEEE WRITES:

www.altawoman.net

9 CHICKWEED LANE TODAY IS HOT!! Yikes! I'm still at work and it's getting me all excited.

DAMN!! WRONG ELIMIDATE! Apparently they run a different Elimidate at 2am than at 11pm. :-( I must remain vigilant.

ELIMIDATE ALERT! I caught the last five minutes of my favorite Elimidate episode tonight! It involves a girl who looks and sounds a lot like one who was completely infatuated with me for about ten minutes last year, except with very large breasts. It will probably repeat in NYC and Long Island at 2am, on channel 55. My VCR is set.

Did you ever have one of those? I didn't pay much attention to her at first because I figured I had no chance--the girl is just gorgeous--everybody I knew wanted her. But then she was suddenly completely taken with me--calling me all the time, giving me all the signs to ask her out....and so I did. And then she lost interest, but of course by then I was hooked and had to suffer through a letdown.

DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK IT'S ODD that the girl who's playing Velma in the new Scooby-Doo movie is an amazing hottie? She played the hot burn-out on Freaks and Geeks, the show about the awfulness of high school in the '80s that I always wanted to watch but never did. Her name is Linda Cardellini, and if the current Hollywood casting practice is to substitute chunky girls with girls built like bombshells, well, I'm all for it. Of course, it's also possible that her development is a more recent phenomenon, and wasn't taken into account by the casting director. ("It's not my fault! She showed up stacked!") Here's another one.

A GARDEN CLUB I'D LIKE TO JOIN. Those silly French people.

MARC2410 POSTED some cool stuff at Diana the Valkyrie. The best is of a girl named Annelie Pompe</

Transvigor / Lingster's Big Mouth

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