ANYBODY FEEL MUCH AFFECTION FOR SOUTH KOREA? Two little girls were run over by a U.S. armored vehicle earlier in the year. The driver and his spotter were court-martialed but found innocent of any wrongdoing. It was an accident--they were navigating a very large vehicle down a narrow street--two girls walking in the street were run over. It seems that there was a radio maisconfiguration and that the spotter in the vehicle in front of them, who could see the girls quite clearly, was temporarily unable to notify the driver of the vehicle behind of their presence. Everyone felt very badly about it, compensation was paid to the families, and the incident was investigated for negligence or malice--none was uncovered, aside from the radio problem. Yet South Koreans, probably instigated by communist insurgents, have been demonstrating and generally raising a ruckus about this for months. And it's getting worse.

So let's speak the truth--South Korea only exists because of the U.S. Their success, their bourgeois comforts, their long lifespans, the fact that they're generally not eating tree bark like their starving northern cousins...all thanks to the U.S. Army, Air Force and Navy. Without us they would have been overrun in the 50s, and they'd be overrun today. Further, if you look closer you see that traffic accidents are very common in South Korea--very common as a cause of death. A few months back I read that there were about 10 other children killed in traffic accidents on the same day as these two girls. So let's do the math--hundreds of thousands starving in North Korea versus two girls killed in an accident in South Korea. Hmm.

And yet they protest us. They riot in front of our embassy and threaten our diplomats and soldiers. If I was President Bush, I'd be inclined to tell them to go fuck themselves, pull out the troops and let the north overrun them. And then after Seoul fell, which would take about three hours from the time the north crossed the DMZ, and the South Koreans were shitting their pants and screaming for aid, we could nuke the shit out of Pyongyang and North Korea, and say "You're welcome. Don't darken our doorway again."

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ THE WHOLE THING RIGHT NOW, but this story, "The Iocane Effect", looks pretty good.

SO THE NEW VICTORIA 3 MODEL seems to be a hit. A lot of artists who usually leave their female figures with shapeless tube arms are adding some meat to them. So in addition to the expected muscular ones, I'm seeing buff girls, and "normal" girls with just a bit of shape in their arms.

A NEW TOLKEIN BOOK? Apparently Tolkein completed a translation and interpretation of Beowulf that's been sitting in a box in the Bodleian Library at Oxford since the 1930s. An American academic discovered it, and now it's to be published. Here's the full story.

One of the best movies made of that misty period was The 13th Warrior. If you've never seen it, I endorse it heartily--it borrows quite a bit from Beowulf. It's based on a Michael Crichton novel, which is itself based on actual chronicles of a Muslim traveler from the 10th century, named Ibn Fadlan.

I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK--I'd really appreciate it If someone could scan and email the Adam Hughes sketch of Miss Adventure that appeared in one of the early issues of Penthouse Comics. It looked like part of a proposal, and was captioned something like, "Say the magic woid, win a pair of Winnebagos". Thanks.

TOMOKO KANDA--REALLY CUTE JAPANESE BODYBUILDER. I've seen pictures of her before, but didn't know her name. She's adorable, and Marc2410 posted the links on Fistman's DtV board.

HEY, GUYS! I posted a render depicting a minor altercation between Wonder Woman and Power Girl [sigh]. It's here.

FELLA NAMED SERGIO posted a bunch of work on Wreck Shop's site. It's really good.

I SWEAR TO GOD, if the radio plays "Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey" one more time, I'm gonna lose it.

WELL, THIS IS GOOD NEWS. Turns out the dust and soot particles from the WTC were very large, particle-wise, and probably won't cause epidemics of lung cancer, emphysema, etc. On the other hand, there are still a lot of firefighters with respiratory illnesses. I inhaled a bit of that stuff, and would obviously prefer that it have no long-term health consequences.

I ADDED A NEW RENDER TO MY FMG2 FOLDER. It's called "clinic.jpg".

SILICON IMPLANTS SLOW BULLETS? Here's a story about a woman shot in the chest who survived because her plastic funbags kept the bullet from piercing any vital organs. Ridiculous, but true.

I POSTED SOME NEW RENDERS using the Vicki 3 model at Wreck Shop's place.

DAZ3D INTRODUCED A NEW VERSION OF VICTORIA that has better muscle morphs than the old one. She's still not as muscular as Stephanie, the character I've been using since the summer, but she's a lot prettier. Two examples: 1, 2.

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE DEFAMES COUNTRY MUSIC FANS: What a stereotype!

GANGS OF NEW YORK. One of my favorite books, and best all-time purchases, is an ancient tome called Darkness and Daylight in New York, written by a New York missionary in 1897. It is profusely and luridly illustrated (1, 2)--I often take the time to show visitors sketches from within of what their $1500-a-month-one-bedroom-apartment neighborhood looked like 100 years ago, or how their ancestors lived when they first arrived. It's a gripping book, and is graphic in its descriptions of the horrors of New York slum life in the 19th centruy. I've acquried and read quite a few 19th century books on New York City, and spent more than a few days of my life at the Museum of the City of New York, New York Historical Society and New York City Archives. And though pedestrian and lackadasical in my studies, really, I'm better acquainted with what New York was like back then than a lot of people--enough so that I was able to spot errors in Ric Burns' New York.

I'm telling you this so you know that I'm fairly competent to judge whether Scorsese "got" New York, 1863. And what do I think? He didn't quite. For one thing, as dirty as Five Points seems in the movie, it was dirtier. It was much dirtier. There was no indoor plumbing at that time, and combined with massively overcrowded slums, the consequences are obvious. To add to the total quantity of feces that was about, horses were very common, and storm drains less so. When it rained, the horseshit from Broadway and the middle of the island would run east and west, toward the rivers. The place was vomitously putrid, all the time, and people were often sick, and very often dead, as a result of the bombardment of waste that accosted their mucous membranes every day. Further, the Irish coming off the boats in 1863 were illiterate, barbarous, trauma-damaged peasants. There's no nice way to say it. Scorsese makes them a little too Glocca Mora for my tastes.

Now on to the story--were there ethnic gangs battling it out in the mid- and late-19th century? Absolutely. But for the life of me I can't tell what point Scorsese is trying to make. On the one hand he's clearly trying to say that the founding people of the United States have been displaced in power and influence by immigrants who have arrived since. But he also seems to want to say that immigrants are chewed up and victimized by the United States. He's trying to have it both ways, and he can't. The movie's message is muddled, the plot is jerky and the storytelling keeps changing pace. The movie is a great big mess; borderline fiasco. Still, it's compelling enough that it's worth seeing, but you might want to wait a bit for the crowds to disperse--it isn't worth suffering for.

THE NEXT TIME YOU HEAR SOMEONE SHOOTING THEIR MOUTH OFF ABOUT AMERICAN "IMPERIALISM", send them this article. Imperialism isn't selling Coca-Cola and Nike sneakers to people. Imperialism isn't about McDonald's hamburgers or Arnold Schwarzenegger films. It's about conquest, annexation and domination; we've rarely done it in the past, and we're sure not doing it now. Liberation does not equal domination.

SO THIS STORY ABOUT DR. LAURA'S MOM, am I the only one who thinks this is a bit too weird to be true? There's something going on here. I'll bet if you look at your FBI crime stats, you'd find that the number of old ladies murdered during home invasions in affluent communities is close to zero. Fishy, fishy, fishy.

JOHN PODHORETZ SLAMS THE NEW TRADE CENTER DESIGNS in the N.Y. Post today. In my favorite part, he quotes from a planning document:

"Ground Zero should emerge from this tragedy as the first truly Global Center, a place where people can gather to celebrate cultural diversity in peaceful and productive coexistence."

Then writes:

Most of us think Ground Zero should emerge from this tragedy as a statement of American purpose. Get that? A-m-e-r-i-c-a-n. Global, shmobal.

AMEN!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP? Some scientists got a grant to look at Playboy magazines from the start all the way through to today. And from this, ahem, study, they've concluded that men are increasingly interested in less-curvy women. Humbug!

And where do I apply for a grant to look at smut?

OH, DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! It was almost Halle Berry with the muscles in Pluto Nash, not Rosario Dawson! Not that Rosario is hard on the eyes, but there's really no comparison. We was robbed!

FORGET TO TELL YOU, I saw a preview last night for something called Bruce Almighty, a Jim Carrey/Jennifer Aniston vehicle. Seems Carrey is temporarily endowed with the powers of God, and among his first acts is to increase the bust size of his girlfriend (Aniston). Preview here.

MEANWHILE, I've got David Annand writing me crank leftist emails.

I BRAKE FOR HOBBITS. My life is definitely going in the wrong direction. Recently I've seen both Star Trek: Nemesis and LOTR: The Two Towers on opening day, and I look at the guys I've been hanging out with and have to wonder if they've ever gotten laid, or ever will. I mean, these guys are babe anti-magnets. It's frightening the way women turn their shoulders away from that crowd. New Year's Resolution: Hang out with better wingmen.

NEW PROPOSALS IN FOR THE WTC SITE. ONE TO BE 1776 FEET TALL, ANOTHER MORE THAN 2,000 FEET TALL.

HERE'S THE OFFICIAL NY OBSERVER TAKE on the Hillary-Rush meeting. Gonna have to crank up the walkman this afternoon to hear the big fella's side of it.

DRUDGE IS REPORTING that Hillary Clinton and Rush Limbaugh came face-to-face at a wedding in Brooklyn over the weekend. What kind of a wiseass puts both of them on the invite list? Surely a media bigwig?

HIS TERRIBLE SWIFT SWORD. While waiting for the great mailed fist of the United States of America to smash down our enemy in Iraq, I find that I have developed a fondness for The Battle Hymn of the Republic. I've been waiting for the firestorm for fifteen months, and finally vengeance is close at hand.

Some people forget things quickly. Offenses and kindnesses both slip from their minds almost as soon as they're done. But I forget nothing and forgive little--and thankfully there are plenty of Americans with similar sensibilities. The media has "moved on", tried to shift the focus from the Muslim atrocities in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania to a scattered sampling of so-called "hate crimes" in the U.S. To Hell with that. I'll move on when I'm good and ready, and not a minute sooner. And all I have to say to those who danced in the streets when the Twin Towers crashed is this: We're coming.

300,000 TROOPS BOUND FOR IRAQ.....you get the feeling maybe that Bush is aiming at more despots than Hussein? With that many troops, we could conquer Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Syria, and be ready to roll across North Africa for dessert.

YOU KNOW WHAT NEW YORK NEEDS? It needs an Erika Eleniak Film Festival. Why not? It could be like the Morty Fineman Film Festival in The Independent, except the movies would be somewhat better.

DELMO THE SAINT, FMG PIONEER, WRITES:

This is the second time that someone has been looking for me due to something I did in regards to comics. The first time was when I wrote & drew a 3 issue mini series for a small comic book company called Personality Comics. They did unauthorized biographies of famous people. I did the Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton issues for them. This big fan of George Lazenby tracked me down, wanting to know why he was overlooked. I explained why (I hadn't written the Connery issue, which is where he would've been mentioned), and from there a friendship ensued. So here I am, checking my e-mail, and I see yours and I figured it had something to do with the Yahoo Club. Imagine my surprise when I read it, then followed the link. Sorry I've been off your radar for quite some time. I had successfully submited a character for the 80's version of Dial H when it began in Adventure Comics. When they brought it back as a back-up in Superboy, I thought I would try submitting again. I created Miss Muscle for Dial H for a few reasons-
1)obviously, I was into muscular women
2)when I sent the idea in, I asked that, if she was chosen, she HAD to be drawn muscular.
It was my attempt to get a female heroine w/super strength to actually look like she was strong, as opposed to WW & the others who, while strong, were as thin as supermodels. Never dreamed DC would pick her for use. What was cool, afterwards, is that I was able to contact the artist who drew the feature, Howard Bender, and purchase the page where she first appears in the story. If you'd like to print this e-mail, please do. It would be cool to see it in print.

I was never much of a George Lazenby fan, myself. His one Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, has for some reason always reminded me of the Spoonerism, "Let us glase our asses and toast the queer old dean." Don't know why.

But I always was a big fan of that character Delmo created.

NYC TRANSIT STRIKE? I SURE HOPE NOT. Where do they think they are? France? Americans don't strike like this; it's assinine.

I'm not really dependent on the subways or buses to get to work, but I'm sure it will cause me problems. And everybody's talking about the 1980 strike for comparison, but a lot of families, including mine, lost members during a big strike in 1918, when a train operated by a scab motorman derailed. Maybe it's time to re-privatize the subways?

ANOTHER THING IN JERSEY TODAY. I parked in one of those big municipal garages in Hoboken, right near the river. When you pull in, there's a weight sensor in the floor which triggers a recorded message. Hoboken is still run by Italians, so when the speaker says, "Take a ticket and drive through!", it's yelling at you in a North Jersey Italian accent. It sounds like Tony Soprano yelling at somebody while pissed off. And my response was...almost...to yell back, "Don't yell at me!"

SO DEPRESSING. I was at a drug store in Jersey today, and when I was leaving these two young girls, maybe 16 or 17, started flirting with me. Actually, one was flirting, the other was staring in a very brazen come-hither sort of way. And they were good-looking, really good-looking. So I was flattered, for about half a second. And then I thought, "I am literally old enough to be their father. Just barely, but yes, when they were born in 1985 or 1986, I was fully functional." Now that my friends is a letdown. It's the first time I've ever thought that about attractive women, in any circumstance, and what makes it worse is that they probably are at or above the age of consent.

I DO LIKE PAT BUCHANAN. He goes to bat for Strom Thurmond and Trent Lott here, men I don't think merit the defense, but he does it with such gusto that it's a bit awe-inspiring. That's our Pat.

TWO WELL-DONE IMAGES FROM RENDEROSITY, one muscular, one not.

HOLY CRAP! This is our kind of girl!

WHOOOO-EEEEE! Trekkie blog reader J.T. Kane cuts me a new one (my commments unindented and italicized):

Hey,

I'm a regular follower of your blog, and found the comments you made on the Star Trek franchise rather interesting. Now, unlike what you're expecting from someone who enjoys the Star Trek franchise, I'm not going to railroad you while wearing Vulcan Ears and a Starfleet Uniform. I'm not going to defend the franchise either, as it's certainly your right to not like it.

I only want to point out that:

A) The writer of this particular Star Trek movie was Gladiator's John Logan.

This is not 'the usual set' of writers, as Berman took Roddenberry's vision and drove it into the ground once he got his grubby paws on it during TNG's run, in my opinion. (this is from a star trek fan mind you) Now, I'm not saying Logan magically should make everyone love it, but with your eye for detail, I would've thought you would notice the writer of Gladiator had the heaviest hand in the story itself. You can rip on it all you want, but hit the right targets too.

But it's the same schlock, and Rick Berman got a writing credit, so don't give me that "all-new" stuff.

B)Ship design: We also 'knew' that portible phones were rediculous as an idea in the 60's, and the closest thing was Maxwell Smart's shoe phone. Somehow, when developed, the cellular phone happens to take an extreme likeness to the basic design of the communicator seen in the original series. Human beings are inspired to create, not randomly imaginative. I'm not saying 'cell phones wouldn't *be* here unless ST was around', but you can't deny that some of its concepts seem to influence someone who went on to the feild. Ships may *not* look that way if they come to fruition, or they might. In a vacuum, you sure can put just about any design there and it won't break apart from gravity pulling on it, cause gravity is busy with all the other stuff it's fooling around with, like the belt on Bill Clinton's pants, which can't seem to stay up at all.

My point exactly. When an engineer or architect designs a thing, his main consideration is to fulfill needs within given contraints. Because of this, no one with half-a-brain would design a vacuum-dwelling, free-falling starship with, say, aerodynamic elements.

C) Star Trek 'science': Yup, they make up a lot of shit and give it big bad fancy terms, don't they? What science fiction series hasn't? I believe Star Wars brought us The Force, Lightsabers and hyper-space drive with the same disregard to physics as Star Trek's Phasers, Warp Drive and ship physics. They made a new type of radiation in this movie for the plot. Oooh I've never seen science fiction writers create science to further a plot before...

If Mr. Ebert's looking for reality in science fiction, his place as a film critic should be questioned. If you're gonna point out the 'bad science' in Star Trek, and disregard other big sci-fi's equal 'bad science', that begins to border on hypocritical.

There's a difference between having some impossibilities or impracticalities as part of the premise for a story or franchise, and adding to them as you go along. If the writer does the latter, he begins to add weight to the super-structure. Pile on too much, and the audience is no longer able to suspend their disbelief. For instance, if I accept that ships can warp space and cover enormous distances at transluminant velocities, do I also have to accept the relatively new addition to the franchise that particle-beam and photonic weapons can move between warp fields, while the ships are in motion? Isn't the area between the ships just regular space, where light moves at, ummm...light speed? And that's not even considering contradiction, which happens all the time in Star Trek movies, too. For instance, in this new movie, there is a Reman Bird of Prey that can remain cloaked while firing, and also while at warp. Now, my understanding of Star Trek physics was that things like cloaking, phaser firing, and warp speed were all power-intensive events. Nonetheless we have a ship doing all three of these things while matching the Enterprise's maximum warp speed. Come on!

D) Moral Superiority appears in all non-comedic science fiction without prejudice. Go ahead, it's everywhere from Star Wars to Starscape to Firefly. Moral superiority isn't just a good guy philosophy, it's the thought that what you think and feel is more important than what others do.

Yeah, but Star Trek really lays it on thick. I remember one episode of TNG wherein several crew members were making light of the 20th century Cold War, to the effect of: "It's hard to believe people went to war over something as trivial as competing economic systems." Well, if that isn't a white-wash of 3/4 of a century of totalitarianism and 100 million civilian deaths, made by preachy cultural Marxists, I don't know what it is.

E) I agree on it's self-reference. But it's been around since the 60's, and of course it's easier (although not the best choice) to go back on the established past. Lucas pulled it off too, he just inverted it, and based 'the past' on what happened in Ep. 4,5 and 6. He had to, or 4,5,6 would make no sense.

But when Riker was kicking that Reman honcho in the face, I actually said aloud, "I...have had...enough...of YOU!!"

Also, let it be pointed out that your area of fantasy falls into these tenets all the time.

Impossible science: The myriad muscle growth devices, potions, cremes, chemicals, machines...

Moral superiority: Except for the creations that invovlve the woman gaining the muscle and attaining some kind of self-gratification from the new power, you see this:

She's gained super-human muscle, too bad for everyone else as they invariably happen to get thrashed, embarrassed or defeated in some other grand-scale fashion for either doing her wrong in the past, for not having the super-human physique she has, not getting the girl her power sooner, or for not getting her *more* power sooner. Women with supermuscle are gonna rule the world, because girls with super-human muscle = right to subjugate everyone and everything that she even *thinks* might resist her. Case in point: the new film "The Growth Experiment". She gets pumped, she destroys people with her power, and is in the right (in her mind, where it only truly matters psychologically from person to person) doing so because she has 17" biceps and superstrengthDesign: Paraphrasing (or bastardizing in some people's eyes possibly) your quote from your Star Trek post:

"We all know Starships(superhumanly muscular girls), if they're ever built(able to make the scenarios and sciences into reality), will not look anything like Enterprise (Michelle's Annie Ample/Wreck's Idal/Scoundrel's artwork, etcetera...)".

Klingon bastard, you trashed my genre!

Bascically: These are characteristics of all science fiction, not the 'fatal flaws' of the Star Trek franchise. It's hitting a creative slump, but not because of the fact it's doing what's it always done.

Again, I'm hoping you'll take this as my opinion, and not my attack. (I guess I'll know how you took it if I see derogatory remarks about my intelligence on your blog following you posting an excerpt or such.)

Excerpt?

Just letting my opinions be known. Thanks for your time, hope I didn't burn your retinas too badly...

J.T. Kane

ROGER EBERT GOES THERMO ON STAR TREK: He whacks it but good. And he sums it up succintly: "...Star Trek is over for me." He even mocks the appearance of the ships, which look like 1960s amusement park rides. One of the biggest problems with the show is that it's based on a bunch of 35-year-old premises that have since been so thoroughly repudiated that it's hard to take them seriously. Here are some other problems:

We all know starships, if they're ever built, will not look anything like Enterprise.

Many of us find the morally superior preaching to be tiring.

It's too self-referential.

The writers on the show have never been that good.

Blatant violations of physical laws (hearing the engines in space, watching the Enterprise make a bank turn...in a vacuum) suggest that the writers don't take it seriously, either.

The writers just make shit up and give it scientific names. In this movie they just make up a whole new kind of radiation as a plot device. Hello?

I WANT ALL OF YOU in the U.S. and Canada to watch Firefly tonight. This is a terrific show, but its ratings have been poor and FOX has only contracted for two more episodes, pending how the ratings turn out. So please, please, PLEASE watch it! Last week's episode was one of the best pieces of television I've ever seen--it was reminiscent of the original Star Wars movie in plot development and action. If you've got a Nielsen box on your TV, then I implore you to watch.

Take a look at this site for more information:



(Those of you in Canada can think of it as penance for those traitorous nurses and Franny's "moron" comment.)

PAGE SIX IS TERRIFIC TODAY. I especially enjoyed the bits about James Gandolfini (BUSTED!) and Slick Rick. And of course Moby the Pacifist's shock that anyone would beat him up is typical pacifistic thinking.

Note to Moby: the world is full of assholes. Get a bodyguard or start taking martial arts.

NEW VIDEOGAME OBSESSION: I bought Age of Mythology this afternoon, and have been playing it for most of the night (though it took me over an hour to get it running right.) I needed to search through a bunch of vendor Websites to find the newest drivers, but once that was done, the thing ran pretty well. And it's a damned interesting game--a little more complex than its AOE and AOK predecessors--I haven't figured out yet whether that compromises the strategic integrity of the game or not.

Dig these screenshots: 1, 2, 3

I'm going to bed now.

ASTONISHINGLY STUPID. Fifty years ago, J.R.R. Tolkein named the second book in his Lord of the Rings trilogy The Two Towers. Now the perpetually indignant want AOL Time Warner to change the name of the forthcoming movie, because they're offended that it is reminiscent of the World Trade Center attack. Give it a break. There are enough REAL things to be angry about right now, without going around looking for frivolous ones.

ANOTHER FUNNY COINCIDENCE: I was just checking out Jewel Kilcher's site, and found a photo there of her in Amsterdam...taken on the same street that Lingster photographed just a few weeks ago! What are the odds? Check out my Yahoo! photo album to see the two shots.

A NEAT DRAWING ON THE POWER GIRL Yahoo! Group, right here.

I FOUND SOMETHING INTERESTING ON THE FMG MESSAGE BOARD. It seems that on October 8, the Bigfoot of FMG posted a request. I've only seen his name a few times, but the first was in the "Dial 'H' for Hero" backup story that followed Superboy in the early 80s. Readers were invited to send in character ideas, and this fella came up with a character called "Ms. Muscle". Long story short, Vicky, the cute girl who had one of the dials, wound up transforming into a super-strong female bodybuilder type, called, naturalment, "Ms. Muscle". It was really the first time I ever saw anything like that.

Despite a fair amount of effort, I was never able to find much trace of him. Until now. Maybe we can entice him into being active.

MCGARNAGAL MADE A MORPH of Willow from Buffy becoming the She-Hulk. It's posted at FMG. As MCG goes along, I become more and more of a fan.

HEY, MARKNEW POSTED PART 3 of his Brandi dialogues. Pretty good!

GRRRRR.

I JUST SENT THIS TO ANDREW SULLIVAN, in response to an article on his blog, called "My Gay Passion":

Mr. Sullivan--

I like you a lot--your writing is first-rate, as is your thinking on most issues. I sympathize, just a bit, with your complaint about the way other people call your identity into question when they debate homosexual issues. But only just a bit.

See, I like muscular women. I write a blog about it (and other topics)--I get about 1000 hits a day. I've got an interesting fetish that goes along with it, but there's no need to bother you with that--you can Google "Mighty Lingster" if you want to read my stories or see my art. It's nothing special, just one of thousands of fetishes that nobody really knew existed before the Internet. If you go to a site called "Deviant Desires", you'll find a diagram of all manner of fetishes. A lot of them involve unusual gender relationships.

The way I see it, just about everybody has some sexual deviance--everybody's kinked a different way. But I don't see the balloon fetishists (yes, they exist) pushing forward a balloon-sex-rights legislative platform. I don't see the furryphiles trying to get bestiality restrictions removed. I don't see the shrinking fetishists looking for civil rights protection.

Most people with fetishes don't build an identity around them. They just entertain fantasies once in a while and otherwise go about their lives, conforming to society's norms. It's puzzling to me why homosexuals don't do that as well. It could be because there are quite a few of you (although I suspect that what we call "homosexuality" is actually an umbrella category for a number of related fetishes and preferences). But the point is, the rest of us need to fantasize sometimes to get it up with a "normal" girl in a "normal" situation, too. Gays are not special in that regard. They're kinked, just like the rest of us, but for some reason are often unwilling to suck it up and play by the rules.

Here are the rules--a few of them anyway:

1) Do your utmost to continue the family, to pass on the genes your parents gave to you.
2) Conform to a monogamous, long-term male/female relationship to best raise those children you're blessed with.
3) Prioritize your responsibilities above your pleasure.
4) Define your identity by your nationality, by your religion, by your family or your trade, but not by how you get your rocks off, which is decadent.

I don't recognize gays as a truly separate category. You have the same obligations as the rest of us, though through some quirk of history you've managed to get society to temporary absolve you of most of them. Civil society is the product of people putting aside their passions and urges and accepting rules for rational, dispassionate behavior. Gays are not an oppressed class--those of you who are "out" are just normal people who have decided to place your own lusts above the sensible demands of society.

You assuredly won't agree with what I've just written, but that's the rationale behind "Don't ask, don't tell", and other social sanctions against male/male sexual relationships.

Anyway, I apologize for throwing this together quickly--the structure is a bit slapdash. But I wanted to get my point across to you before going to bed.

I don't know if he'll read that, and I doubt he'll respond, but it's the way I see things. Maybe some of you see it that way, too?

ON THE SEASON FINALE OF THE SOPRANOS, Carmella itemizes Tony's infidelities, including "that weightlifter woman". Does anybody know what she's talking about? I don't remember that one.

REALLY COOL STAR TREK RENDER.

GONE FISSION. A brief strategy statement issued by the U.S. Department of Defense today says this:

The United States will continue to make clear that it reserves the right to respond with overwhelming force -- including through resort to all our options -- to the use of WMD against the United States, our forces abroad, and friends and allies...

What that means is that if somebody uses a weapon of mass destruction in the western world (with the possible exception of France), or against a western target, the nukes are gonna fly. And it's about time. To quote Dennis Miller:

They want us dead. And for people like that, we shouldn't treat our nukes like the good china that never gets used at dinner.

I appreciate W.'s restraint--I really do--but it occurs to me that simply shooting a MIRV'ed ICBM at Tora Bora or Kandahar on September 12, 2001 might have made our point a little bit more clearly.

WORKERS OF THE WORLD, INVEST IN MUTUAL FUNDS! I found this site linked from that absurd North Korean site I mention below. It's the Commie Yahoo! Somebody ought to tell them that THEY LOST!

A TIP OF THE HAT TO THE SPANISH NAVY, which intercepted an Axis of Evil ship carrying SCUDS to "Bad Muslims" somewhere in Africa, from the Democratic People's Utopian La-La-Land of Ernie Worship and Total-Happiness-Or-Else of North Korea (or whatever it's called). So, correct me if I'm wrong, but if this ship was going to Al Qaeda, North Korea just, um, committed an act of war, right? Why is it that we're leaving their nuclear reactors intact, again? Somebody remind me, because it's not like we don't know where they are. Daisy-cutter time.

CRAP, I'M LATE FOR WORK. Having trouble getting my ass in gear this morning. Sigh.

TEMUGEN WRITES:

I find it kind of ironic that you're only mad at a few Canadian nurses about this, when the headquarters for the IPT is in Chicago, Canadians make up less than a quarter of the human shields in Iraq, whereas Americans make up over half, and the idea was started by a muslim-American. I agree they shouldn't be there, but take a look home first before blaming others.

PS, sign me up for a registered practitioner at the Erika Eleniak Temple

Yeah, yeah, I know. But these Canadian dimwits are getting a lot more play in the media than anyone else. As far as I'm concerned, any American or Canadian who goes over there to give aid and comfort to the Hussein regime ought to have their necks stretched upon returning. We gave Jane Fonda a free ride after her little frolic in Vietnam, and that was a bad example to set--now every mental midget peacenik from Prince Edward Island to El Paso thinks it's kosher to betray their country in the dirty, ahistorical, wretched cause of pacificism.

PAINT TARGETS ON YOUR SHIRTS, LADIES, so you're easier to spot from the air. It's good to know the world can count on Canadian nurses to do their level best to prop up murderous, totalitarian regimes that gas and torture their own people.

THIS IS SOME STORY. Can you imagine what it must have felt like to be trapped in a car for a week, with a broken hip?

SO I JUST WATCHED FINAL VOYAGE, starring the always-stunning Erika Eleniak. It took me a couple tries to find the DVD, but finally found it in the Village. The reviews I found online suggested listening to the commentary track, so I forewent the dialog track and just listened to the director and obviously brainy Claudia Christian making fun of the movie, all the way through. They were hilarious, but I wasn't so distracted as to miss Ms. Eleniak's gigantic bosom, squared-off biceps and bulging triceps. She's so burly, and so sexy! At one point Claudia Christian referred to Eleniak as a "natural born athlete", but she was sufficiently muscular in this film that the other women looked downright puny by comparison. I was a bit surprised that Christian, who made fun of the physical appearance of just about everybody else in the film, left Eleniak alone; though she did make mention at least twice to her perception of Eleniak as being a very pleasant, get-along, go-along kind of girl. One other thing I got a kick out of: Eleniak is the only actress in Hollywood who has a significantly less muscular stunt double. From the look of it, her stunt double could have used both hands and Eleniak could still put her down in an armwrestling match. I'll bet she's really strong.

Christmas Rush, which we discussed last week, looked to have been filmed a year ago, at least two years after Final Voyage. Aside from some jaw-dropping décolletage, Ms. Eleniak's physical bounty went unrevealed in Christmas Rush. So, does anybody know if she's maintained her muscular build, or, dare I hope, improved it? If she could add just ten or fifteen pounds of muscle, I'd quit my job, let my hair grow and found the Erika Eleniak Temple.

THESE HOLLYWOOD KNOW-NOTHINGS have actually written something with which I agree. They're asking Bush to stop his war rhetoric against Iraq. Amen! Let's stop talking and start moving! Flatten the scum!

WHAT KIND OF A CHIMP mistakes a Chihuahua for a Pit Bull? I mean, it's just...amazingly stupid.

LOOKS LIKE AWEFILMS IS FINALLY FINISHED with their growth movie. Have a look-see here. Kudos to Solomon for pointing this out.

MARK STEYN ON STROM THURMOND: Not critical enough for my tastes, but funny.

INTERESTING LITTLE DITTY. It's all irrelevant now, of course, because as I've said before, Bin Ladin is dead.

NAVY TO NAME NEXT AIRCRAFT CARRIER AFTER BUSH 41. Maybe the Air Force could name one of the new KC-767 Tanker/Transports--flying fuel depots that extend a long boom from which another plane sucks fuel--after Clinton?

I'M A BIG ROY CLARK FAN, but man, this is funny. Roy Clark and another musician named Buck Trent were the men who performed the "Dueling Guitar and Banjo" piece that most of you probably remember from Deliverance. I think it's one of the finest bits of Americana-style music ever made, though you'd have to listen to the full piece to hear what I mean--it runs about two minutes and twenty seconds.

A STRONG-LIMBED, TOP HEAVY DRAGON LADY, rendered with decent skill, at Renderosity. The artist, who co-inkadkink-ally calls herself "DragonLady", has made tough-looking broads before, like this one. Here's her gallery.

WHAT HAPPENED TO NOMDRESERV? He hasn't updated his site in a couple months, and hasn't written much since the spring! Let's show the man some love.

NOW THIS IS MY KINDA READER:

RE: USS HARRY S TRUMAN
MIGHTY ONE-
SHE'S BOUND TO INSTILL THE FEAR OF ALLAH IN SOME QUARTERS AROUND THE GLOBE BUT THIS OLD DOG FACE WOULDN'T MIND SENNING THREE OR FOUR MORE ARMY DIVISIONS ACTIVATED AS WELL.
-DENNIS

SOMEBODY BLEW UP A BUNCH OF MUSLIMS in Bangladesh. This is really odd, as we have all come to expect Muslims blowing up somebody else. Needless to say, this is not an auspicious development. According to the CIA factbook, Muslims make up 83% of the population, Hindus just 16% in Bangladesh. So, what probably happens next is that the Muslims will riot and kill thousands of Hindus.

HEARD ABOUT THIS ONE on the BEA message board. Go here and click on the link at the bottom to see their "pilot". From the JPEG at the front page, they're shooting for higher production values in the actual show. It's very suggestive.

I WAS WORKING ON TWO POSTS, one to commemorate the 61st annivesary of the attack on Pearl Harbor by the now-defunct Empire of Japan, and the other was a link to some hotties at the Forest of Breast. It was one of those things--I was puttering along on both of them, and then, like a flash, I realized the contradiction: "What am I doing!?" So let's remember the attack, say "let bygones be bygones" to the Japanese, and take a few minutes to ogle some of their bustier women.

Take a look at this girl--she's really terrific but I don't think I've seen her before. This might be the same one.

This lovely has a lot to be proud of, but not nearly so much as our favorite, Yoko Matsugane, who appears to have lost her balance.

CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT CAME OUT OF THIS BLOW-DRIED IDIOT'S MOUTH? Trent Lott, moron. Look, some parts of the past you glorify, some parts you laugh about, and some things you just try to put behind you. Strom Thurmond (back when he was a Democrat) once stood for some pretty awful things. In later years he was known to use his antediluvian birth date as an excuse to grope women. At no point was he ever the kind of person you'd want to spend time around your kids (especially given his marital history: "Even as we speak, Strom Thurmond's next wife is being born."). But Trent Lott...man, he really ought to know enough not to talk about that stuff. The Dixiecrats are the Democrat's old mess, not the GOP's, and the GOP ought to just keep its mouth shut about it. I hope he'll resign as incoming majority leader for this. It's disgraceful.

But damn. The reprehensible old bastard was halfway out the door, and somebody had to make a gaffe. Crap.

OH MY GOD, I'm having so much trouble keeping my identities straight. I've been corresponding with several bloggers as part of my job, even posting guest blog entries to their sites, and...it's getting confusing. I'm terrified I'm going to sign an email or blog entry "Mighty Lingster" when it ought to be signed with my real name, and worried about doing the inverse here. Further, I'm meeting one fairly prominent blogger for lunch next week, and I can't let on that I've been blogging for as long as she has, and get more traffic. So strange.

THIS SENDROMA PERSON HAS BEEN POSTING SOME INTERESTING RENDERS. (Nudity)

TRANSCRIPT OF A REALLY SMART LECTURE, delivered recently in Toronto.

HEATHER BAYER'S SITE--She has a really nice build.

SORRY IF THE BLOG IS EXCESSIVELY DIRECTED AT WAR ITEMS, LATELY, but we're just a few days away from the shitstorm, and I'm having trouble thinking about much else. I can't wait. God, I wish I was in this fight.

PEACE ON EARTH TO MEN OF GOOD WILL. ALL OTHERS, STAND BY. The brand-spanking-new USS Harry S Truman sailed out of Norfolk today, soon to be openin' up a can of whoop-ass on an autocrat near you! Godspeed, boys! Kick some ass and come home in one piece.

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY:

Esquire Survey: Reagan Greatest American, Clinton 'Most Loathsome'

Even Esquire magazine, known for its chic liberal bias, reports that a new survey of its readers finds Ronald Reagan the "greatest living American."

Topping Esquire's list of "most loathsome living American": Bill Clinton.

Esquire's "Survey of the American Male," appearing in the January issue, quizzed nearly 2,000 men about everything from politics to the stock market to "sexiest woman in America" (winner: "my wife").

TURKEY? OR CHICKEN? I despise this "allowed to use our bases" issue. Basically, what that implies is that we'll send troops to foreign countries to serve those countries' interests, but we're not permitted to serve our own. Straighten up, Turkey.

SOME SMARTASS WROTE:

Hi Lingster, I remember reading that you seem to like Tremors quite a bit, so when I saw a certain advertisement during The X-Files on the SciFi Channel a short time ago, I thought of you. Tremors:The Series is coming to the SciFi Channel in January. I think it was January 10th,
though I'm not sure.

Jumper Prime

Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, monkey-boy. I think it's December 10. Rest assured I will not be watching, even though they do have a hot chick.

MARKNEW'S GOT A NEW "DIALOG" up on DtV.

I'M GETTING A PADDED SEAT.

OK, YOU REMEMBER THAT SCENE IN STAR TREK IV, where Chekov asks a cop where he can find the "nuclear wessles"? Well, I just got to play the befuddled cop. Two Chinese men, dressed in identical attire, including their so-80s anime-style nylon jackets, just asked me if I could direct them "To ship port. Concrete. Boats." I said, "Yeah, huh?" And eventually figured it out...I think. They were on foot. And I live far enough away from where I think they were going that they're still gonna be walking when I'm sleeping. Probably PLA spies, so it serves 'em right.

SO I DECIDED TO KEEP WATCHING CHRISTMAS RUSH in the hope that Erika Eleniak will take off her blouse. Stay with me, boys. We'll catch The Sopranos later in the week.

I FINISHED A NEW RENDER, just in time for Christmas Rush on TBS. This one's gonna piss off some people. It took all afternoon and evening to make.

HERE'S A GREAT ARTICLE ON VOLKSWAGEN'S SHADY PAST. I've got nothing against VW--I've owned two Beetles, and when I was very small and my parents were very broke, we owned a Squareback and two Beetles at various times. (A friend of mine owns a Thing and I envy him greatly--I remember being fascinated with one of them in late 1973.) But the fondness millions feel for the old VWs doesn't change the fact that the "volkswagen" was first conceived by Adolf Hitler.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, I suppose.

LEEE HAS POSTED SOME NEW ALTAWOMAN PICS, here's one, and here's the site.

MESSAGE FROM MARKNEW:

I meant to tell you about a couple of things I saw on my trip to Italy last weekend.

First, I was cruising the Italian TV channels on evening while my wife was getting ready for dinner. On comes a commercial with the proverbial giant woman (let's say she was 400 feet tall, judging by the size of the skyscrapers she was walking past). She's wearing just a bikini, of course, a skimpy black one that would not have been allowed during family tv time in America, and she's mean. She steps on cars, punches through buildings and makes a big mess. The army goes after her and she grins eagerly, absorbing bullets, missiles and airplanes, which bounce off her obviously invulnerable skin. Then she turns on the heat vision and turns through several buildings. What were they selling? Beats me. I don't speak Italian, but it seemed obscure anyway. The commercial ended with the giant woman
picking up a cutish guy from a soccer team and smiling at him, seemingly pacified. Maybe it was his aftershave.

The second was simpler, a picture in a store window, with a guy, naked from the waist up, on a leash held by a woman, her arm showing a well-defined muscle, clearly bigger than his. He's at her mercy. They were selling perfume.

I do like Italy.

In Amsterdam a few weeks ago I saw Puma ads on trams that showed a very attractive, slender girl, easily holding a muscular man at bay while armwrestling. Also, in New York, I've seen several signboard T-Mobile ads that show a woman flexing a decent bicep while holding a bowling ball. Advertising!

CHANEY WRITES IN ABOUT ONE AUCTION, but I checked and the whole catalog is worth looking at.

SO I SPENT THE DAY WITH SOME AMIGOS. Went to see the new Bond flick. There's one scene where Halle Berry walks into a room and decks a guy--her fist against his jaw--and he crumples to the ground. I leaned over to my friend and said, "In the real world, her hand would be broken and he'd still be conscious." But aside from the difficulty in suspending disbelief to accept a 105-pound, delicate boned, large-breasted lovely as a leg breaker, ummm....well, aside from that, uh, ummm, well...I have to admit I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to anything else except her. In fact, I don't even remember the name of the movie.