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4/30/2003

I RE-READ THE WONDERLUST PIECE, and for the first time clicked through to the comments page, only to find this:
    "It's taken me almost thirty years to come to terms with these fantasies." So...at what point of enduring self-loathing did you come to terms with them? It's painfully obvious that you're very much at odds with the person you are and railing on decent, hardworking TF fans just because you can't reconcile morality and sexuality, isn't going to get you anywhere.
    --10
    04/17
"...Decent, hardworking TF fans..."? Let's not overdo it. I'm a little bit annoyed by Pollack's confessional, but I'm mainly amused. And I'm sure we can come up with a clever retort.

By the way, I'm guessing there's at least a 75% probability that Pollack's checking this blog now, even if he wasn't before. Hey, Neal-- try to behave yourself, and keep in mind the epitaph suggested by his brother, following Hemingway's suicide: "He was always shooting his mouth off."

THESE ARE MY KIND OF PEOPLE. I hope they gave him a piece of cake.

ANYBODY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED to the Aurora Universe? I was never much of a fan, but it's been around for a really long time--at least six or seven years. I hope it wasn't a copyright problem.

WATCHING ENTERPRISE--Worst episode ever. Since partway through The Next Generation, the Star Trek folks have insisted on doing these "character development" storylines. But the thing is--I don't give a shit. I want to see space cowboys--battles and adventure, not whiny, morally subjective doo-doo.

4/28/2003

I'M STILL CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS NEAL POLLACK THING. I might actually have to read his book--went back and read the Gawker interview (yeah, yeah, Gawker, Gawker, Gawker, I know; New York is turning into a Gawker-palooza and nobody even knows what Spiers looks like), and he hits out at some of the right targets, i.e. this whole Prague-coup-d-etat at New York Press. Bulls-eye. Plus there's hipster street cred to be had in suffering from essentially the same fetish as Neal Pollack: I was superhuman female transformations when superhuman female transformations weren't cool, baby. I'm old school.

Of course on the other hand he trashed Leee and Shadowlurker (who's MIA and probably dead). And as far as I'm concerned, you don't shit where you live--or masturbate, for that matter.

Hmmm. You know, I'd gone 16 months without once using the word "masturbate" on this site. Which is kind of ironic, really, given why we're all here. But then this Neal Pollack thing comes along and I lose my shit. Fucker.

BIG IN JAPAN. We at Lingster's Big Mouth are thrilled to be getting traffic from Hatena::Antenna, even though we can't figure out where the link is on the site, or what they had to say about us.

THE DREADED TAX CUNTS. Man, this is hilarious.
[Courtesy of Gawker]

NICE RENDER OF A FEMALE BOW HUNTER at Renderosity.

THE BACK COVER OF TV GUIDE this week (for the northeast US, at least) features a Winston cigarette ad, subtitled "Hostile Takeover". The photo in the ad depicts a slender girl smiling as she pins a muscular young man on a Pacific beach. He is also smiling. Strangely, they are wearing jeans.

4/27/2003

TESTING. Having some problems since I altered the template. Did it on a Mac, and it's looking like some carriage returns were inserted into the code. :-/ Now I'm trying to clean it up on a PC.

I SWITCHED TO ORANGE. Got tired of blue.

READER TEMUJIN WRITES:
    Hi, thought you and other readers of your blog might be interested to know that fit girls and female boxers have made it into the biggest newspaper in Toronto, the Star. Here are the two articles: 1, 2
My favorite part is this:
    As female competitors will proudly tell you, that means women still look like ... well ... women, although [Mindi] O'Brien admits her sister used to insist she cover her bulging arms when they left the house together.

    The word she used was "disgusting."

    "Now she's started working out, and seen her own definition and is getting into it," O'Brien says proudly.
Here's Mindi O'Brien flexing (second from left on top), and arms akimbo. She should go sleeveless at all times.

FOND MEMORIES: I was just thinking back to an early musclegirl experience. It was about 1986, and I was attending a Seton Hall basketball game. When the Seton Hall cheerleaders came out on the court, one of them turned out to be seriously built. The uniforms at that time were basically generous halter-tops--exposed shoulder and midriff. Her breasts were too big for the top, and they pressed together to create one bulging uni-bosom. And she was muscular, nearly bodybuilder muscular, and her rounded shoulders bulged out of that top like nothing I'd ever seen. The other girls looked pathetically slender and weak compared to her. I watched, my face flush, mouth dry, as she went through her routine. She was the only girl cheerleader who wasn't hoisted into the air by a male cheerleader, and I half expected her to heft a girl herself. As she stepped to the fore of the group, the man behind me said, "Jesus, would you look at her? She's sure been eating her Wheaties!"

A GREAT POWER GIRL [SIGH] SKETCH FROM DARKSTORM GRAPHICS (Discovered via link from Supergirls, Inc.)

NEAL POLLACK COMES OUT as a superheroine transformation fetishist in this article at Nerve. He has a little bit of fun at the expense of our friend Leee, but Leee seems to have made the best of the publicity. Pollack is one of those McSweeney's guys. Shameless self-promoter Dave Eggers started McSweeney's--I have a friend who raves about it all the time and seems amazed at my essential ignorance of the supposed phenomenon.

So what we're left with is a guy who comes out of the closet by making fun of those of us who belong to the same fetish-phylum. Which is OK, I guess, except given his past history as a prankster and the theme of his book, I'm left wondering if he's really one of us at all, despite Sexblog's conviction of his sincerity.

GOT SOME GERMAN SPAM:
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    Wir bieten in unserer Cam-Sektion eine breite Palette von Webcams an, sehen Sie sich das einfach mal an, falls Sie noch keine haben.


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I don't think I've ever gotten German porn spam before! Is this payback from when I mocked German cheeseburgers?

MARC2410 posted some great new links at DtV. Wouldn't it be really nice if Diana were to begin using a new message board application, one that, say, let you attach links as links? I've been cutting and pasting off that site since 1996, and it's really starting to bug me.

THE WEEKLY STANDARD knocks the cover off the ball in a lampoon of The New York Times.

4/26/2003

I POSTED A NEW RENDER. Did a lot of post-work on this to make it look weird and arty.

I WAS READING ABOUT the latest doomed compromise in the Georgia flag flap, and clicked through to one of the heritage associations. The bumper stickers they sell are hilarious, such as, "Happiness is a North Bound Yankee". I'm sympathetic--I really am--but it seems to me there's little profit for either side in letting this go on any longer.

4/25/2003

I'M WATCHING ELIMIDATE. There's one absolutely gorgeous girl on it, named 'Laurie', but the show is so trashy now, I feel ashamed just watching it.

I LOVE A FARMER WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR. An authentic produce label from the 1950s.

4/24/2003

SUPERMAN #192 introduces the new, very muscular young Supergirl.

4/23/2003

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE BOOBS ON THIS GIRL. She posted some photos of herself at the BEArchive, and here's her site.

4/22/2003

HEY! PRETTY DECENT FMG STORY!

FREEJACK dubbed into Spanish, on New York 68. The absurdity of Mick Jagger en espanol.

4/21/2003

I'M HUGE IN GERMANY- Last 9 visits:
    1. 21 April 15:35 MediaWays GmbH, Gelnhausen, Germany
    2. 21 April 15:35 T-Online International AG, Germany
    3. 21 April 15:37 MediaWays GmbH, Gelnhausen, Germany
    4. 21 April 15:43 Comcast Communications, United States
    5. 21 April 15:44 America Online, United States
    6. 21 April 15:45 Euronet Israel, Ramat Gan, Israel
    7. 21 April 15:45 Comcast Communications, United States
    8. 21 April 15:46 Brazil (telesp.net.br)
    9. 21 April 15:47 Ludwig-Maximilians-Universität, München, Germany
I've actually been to München (Munich). Not bad except I ordered a cheeseburger in an "American" cafe on the Maximillianstrasse, and the cheese they put on it was some kind of runny mittel-europa culture, not the dreamy-velveety slices of orange dye "cheese product" you get here in die Staaten. The cheese on a cheeseburger should have a more solid consistency than the Heinz Ketchup.

4/20/2003

WEIRD RENDER OF A HOT GOTH FANTASY.

ONE MOVIE THAT ALWAYS PERTURBED ME A BIT IS FIELD OF DREAMS. Firstly, during the dotcom boom, I heard "If you build it, they will come" used about three times a week to justify millions and millions of dollars of wasted expenditures. Secondly, Ray Liotta as Shoeless Joe? C'mon! Lets go over it:





Ray LiottaShoeless Joe Jackson
34 years old in movie31 years old 1919 World Series
Newark paisanCarolina redneck
Prolonged career: Pia ZadoraLaunched career: Strom Thurmond
Smooth-talking city-slickerIlliterate, awkward bumpkin

So when Liotta's up there, spitting out "You wouldn't believe how many guys wanted to play here! We had to beat 'em off with a stick!", it doesn't really sound like Jackson probably sounded.

HOW IS THIS MOVIE CLEANING UP week after week? I don't think I know anybody who's seen it. (If that makes me sound a bit like Pauline Kael, so be it.)

I'M VERY FOND OF THIS RENDER. No muscle, but it's pretty darned good.

READER DELMO suggests Men's Wearhouse for more reasonably priced tuxes.

YO. Found this link to R.O.W. (rest of world) women's bodybuilding sites.

4/19/2003

I'D LIKE TO OWN EVENING CLOTHES. It just occurred to me, I've been in New York for years, and on a number of occasions, I've rented. But y'know, it's impossible to really look good in a rent-a-tux. Maybe I should go out and buy a set? Saks has a nice one listed for just $795! I think of this because I'm watching Center Stage on Oxygen right now--a film about a ballet school at Lincoln Center here in the city, and how I've only gone to Lincoln Center for various high-culture stuff on one or two occasions.

BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE THIS SARS THING is out of control. I guess we should be glad summer's on its way, when respiratory infections lose most of their kick--if this was starting during flu season, we'd really be screwed.

4/17/2003

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS - on Sunday I was driving around my neighborhood, middle of the afternoon, and a prostitute approached me. I wasn't too surprised, but I hadn't seen that sort of thing in the neighborhood since summer 2000.

The girl from three years back was a bit more subtle; she said to me, "Hey mister, what time is it?" I said it was 9:30 (in the morning). She nodded and said, "You want a blow job?" I smiled and said it was too early. She looked to be 17 and she was about 5 months pregnant, and that did surprise me. This time the woman did a really obvious sort of shimmy-shammy over toward my passenger window, but I smiled and waved her off. I could see her start to scowl but by then I had the car in motion.

Street-walking is so strange--the girls are so exposed. The neighborhood around the United Nations building in New York is filled with brothels--one more reason to treat that institution as suspect. There are no hookers; just call girls, geishas and other more discreet sex workers. The city government turns a blind eye to them. A friend of mine had a brothel in the apartment next to his on E. 49th St., and it didn't matter how many times he called the cops, the brothel was left unmolested. I guess I've never really understood prostitution--I can't imagine being so hard up for sex that I'd pay for it, or that I'd be inclined to take the risks that go with sleeping with a woman I don't know.

HOLY CRAP! I was just flipping channels and found the almost legendarily bad Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV movie and comics-adaptation atrocity starring David Hasselhoff. As one IMDB reviewer describes it, "David Hasselhoff: Actor of A.B.Y.S.M.A.L." One lead character performs the worst fake-German accent I ever heard. Oddly enough, upon looking her up at IMDB, I found that she's German-speaking Swiss. Go figger.

THEY CUT ALI! Her deliciously large bosom doomed her. Damn Hollywood to Hell!

Update: The audience wasn't able to vote on her, because the prior show was postponed due to war coverage. There's no way Ali would have been voted off if she'd faced the public, but the dark legions of boob-haters in Tinseltown drew their long knives and cut down our curvaceous prom uber-queen. In the end some 100 pound fleshless idiot will walk away with it.

Update 2: Ali, if you're reading this, don't even think of losing weight or getting a reduction--it would be a crime against nature for you to change. You're the prettiest girl I've seen on TV in a good long while. You'll get an acting job, I'm confident, and then public affection will carry you along. (Try for a soap opera gig.)

THERE'S ALSO A NICE-LOOKING, SMART GIRLJOCK WITH MUSCLES named Kira Pozehl.

WATCHING THIS "ALL-AMERICAN GIRL" SHOW on ABC right now. It's unmitigated crap, but there's a girl named Ali Hotmer who is very nicely put together. It's not often you see a girl on national TV whose boobs are as big as her head. (Each!)

They just asked each of them what they think is the greatest invention of all time. Here are the results:
    Video games
    Video camera
    Toilet
    Automobile
    Radio
    Reality TV (she was just kidding) Electricity
    Telephone
    Free public schools
    Temporary boob jobs (gel clothing implants)
    Computer (said our girl Ali, who took the stage as the host applauded the prior girl's idea with "Let's hear it for boobies!")

CHRIS MOREA AND EEGORE posted something very special at A Growing Concern. Check in the files section, under "Catalyst".

I WAS WONDERING WHY Marcus Chong isn't in the Matrix sequels. I thought he did a great job of making a supporting character really memorable, so I Googled "Marcus Chong" AND "Matrix Reloaded". Whoa. Double whoa.

Where do you come by an ego and sense of entitlement like that? Because I'm the kinda guy who focuses on the things he doesn't deserve, and I'd like to balance that out by borrowing some (just a bit) of Marcus' certainty that he deserves to be treated as the star of The Matrix Reloaded, despite not actually being the star of the movie. Near as I can tell, The Matrix was his breakout picture (never heard of any of the others he's been in), and he seems to have screwed that up pretty good.

P.S. Agents exist for a reason. So do spelling and grammar checkers in Word.

4/16/2003

THERE IS ONLY ONE HAPPINESS IN LIFE, TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. That's the tagline at Aoki Yuko's site. Excuse me, but isn't that two happinesses? And speaking of two happinesses, why are there no photos on her site that display her two happiest attributes? It seems she's pulled a Samantha Fox, and decided to quit being a big bust model to instead become a pop singer. Good luck to you, Aoki, but could you please show us that dazzling bosom once in a while?

I HAD A FOUR-STAR BOOB DAY TODAY:
  • A busty girl in my office wore a form-fitting blouse--normally she hides 'em.
  • I ran into an insanely busty Asian girl who used to work in a neighborhood shop.
  • Ten minutes after that, I was on the train and an incredibly busty brunette got on.
    A good day--I love the return of the warm weather.

  • NICE IMAGE FROM OUR FRIEND MIYU.

    THIS STORY TOOK MY INTEREST. I think it's absolutely appropriate for the mountain to be named after Pfc. Piestewa, although the five-year waiting period sounds reasonable. What struck my interest is that people find the word "squaw" offensive, because its etymology may have something to do with an indian word for female genitalia. Hm. Do you think they ever looked up the roots of "woman"? It means "wife + man". Fairly amusing.

    4/13/2003

    RIVERWORLD UPDATE: Well, the movie version's been turned into a parade of victims. The original characters have been partly replaced--Sir Richard Francis Burton is gone, and in his place an American astronaut. The characters we meet at rebirth are quickly enslaved by a local warlord, which serves as a tablet upon which the victimization theme is writ. An African woman who died on a slave ship has been added as a chatacter, and a Polish Jew who died in a German concentration camp. A citizen of Imperial Rome has also been added as a counter-example of the individualist - he is cruel and purely self-interested, to the detriment of everyone else.

    I don't object to those characters, per se, but I do object to the constant theme of victimization that pervades our culture.

    UPDATE: The citizen of Rome turned out to be the Emperor Nero---perhaps the most famously self-interested person in history. Did I call that, or what?

    UPDATE 2: Another amusing thing: The astronaut who replaces Burton supposedly dies in 2009. This means that he's not a historical personage. The whole point of the Riverworld books is that the lead characters were nearly all historical personages. Samuel Langhorne Clemens, for instance. Alice Pleasance Liddell, for another. It seems a shame to sacrifice Burton, the first Christian to see Mecca, for a fictional character.

    UPDATE 3: I do like that they have some of the moderns, the citizens of democracies, splitting off for themselves and making a Galt's Gulch of it.

    UPDATE 4: There's quite a bit of swordplay in this little epic - the astronaut Hale will have to face Nero at some point. Burton could have faced Nero and then some - as an experienced swordsman of the late 19th century he would have had centuries of research and canon to draw on that would be completely unknown to Nero. But today swordplay is a dead art, Hale would be most unlikely to know anything of it. But I'm guessing there's going to be some plot dodge whereby he manages to be a master swordsman.

    I'M WATCHING RIVERWORLD on the Sci-Fi Network. I was a big fan of the books when I was a kid, and I've mentioned Phillip Jose Farmer here before. I was curious why Sci-Fi hadn't made more of a big deal out of the movie, but now I know--it begins with a Space Shuttle being destroyed on re-entry. Ah, cruel fortuna.

    I POSTED A NEW RENDER to Renderosity--first time in a while that I've thought one is good enough and mainstream enough to go up there.

    I kinda cheated in order to get a large number of people to view the image. If you click on my Gallery from that image, you'll see that the thumbnail for "Gym Girl" is just a cleavage shot.

    4/12/2003

    VERY NICE RENDERS - apparently this girl is going to make a bunch of these with a special character pack made by another artist. Here's a few: 1, 2, & 3.

    AARON BROWN on CNN just asked Michael Kinsley if the events of the last week discredit the anti-war movement. Kinsley began his response by saying "Well, there wasn't really an anti-war movement..." I feel very comfortable declaring him to be a fucking liar.

    4/9/2003

    GOD, I LOVE THIS PHOTO. Jacques Chirac can blow me.

    WHILE THE KURDS MAY HAVE BEEN DANCING in the streets today because they were happy to see U.S. troops, I don't think that's the story in Baghdad. The people in Baghdad were dancing because they were happy to see the end of Saddam, not the arrival of the United States. We need to get them going on their own as quickly as possible, and speedily limit our presence in their cities. A short occupation will be optimal.

    I HAVE POSTED SOMETHING TO THE POSER FMG GROUP on Yahoo! Check the message board.

    BAGHDAD HAS FALLEN, and with it the Ba'ath regime. The war is far from over, but we can draw some conclusions now. On September 11, 2001, the United States of America was attacked, without justification, by Muslims associated with the terrorist organization Al Qaeda. Throughout the Arab world, Muslims danced with glee in the streets following this attack--taunting America, calling us weak. Daring us to respond.

    We have responded. Let no one question our strength or resolve henceforth.

    But that strength demonstrated, it will soon be time for us to embrace the Iraqi people and wrap them in kindness. Soon we will hold municipal elections in Iraq, and begin to rebuild the government of that country on a pluralistic base. Just as we made a demonstration of our strength, so should we now make a demonstration of our tolerance and humanity. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to demonstrate our true motives.

    I DO, HOWEVER, HAVE ONE THING TO SAY to all the people who were so opposed to war, who predicted catastrophe and expected the Iraqi people to rise up as one body against the U.S., only to wake today to see those same Iraqis tearing down statues of Saddam and partying in the streets. Here's what I have to say to the French, to the Germans, and to the few Leftist stooges among the citizens of our coalition.

    4/6/2003

    I CANNOT WAIT FOR CHASING PAPI TO COME OUT. This is exactly the sort of (relatively) high-budget cheesecake movie I used to love, but that Hollywood rarely makes anymore. Thank God for Latino influence in the cinema. Sofia Vergara and Roselyn Sanchez are dream goddesses.

    DAMN! First Michael Kelly and now David Bloom. I am a big fan of Kelly's writing, and I always thought Bloom was an honest reporter. They were good men who died at the top of their profession, doing us all a service.

    ALSO, OVER AT POLYMER CITY, there's a new swap piece between Andrah and Sheeri. Andrah got small, Sheeri got big. Here's an older one by a fan artist.

    4/5/2003

    I'VE BEEN POSTING SOME IMAGES TO WRECK SHOP'S SITE, and there's been some conversation about them--check it out.

    HERE'S A COOL RENDER.

    4/4/2003

    COWBOY BEBOP is a movie! I don't know how I let this one slip by me, but Cowboy Bebop the Movie is opening this weekend in select theatres. For those of you who haven't seen it, it is truly sublime. It's terrific stuff--the very best in anime--I'm watching the show on Cartoon Network right now.

    Also, speaking of terrific stuff, I was harassing Marknew today, telling him he must visit one of the Apple stores. I've only been to the one in SoHo, NYC, and it's like visiting a world where someone reinvented retail. It's beautiful. I couldn't find one in the UK, but since he's in NYC periodically, I recommended that he check it out next time. All of you should, really. Just go!

    4/2/2003

    FUNNY, I GOT NO EMAIL ABOUT NUKING PARIS. Of course, I don't really want to see Paris nuked. My core point is that the French have betrayed us and merit no consideration from here out. BTW, if you encounter anyone who shrieks "The U.S. armed and supported Saddam! He is the U.S.'s fault!", you might want to send them here.

    4/1/2003

    NUKE PARIS. And if that's too tabloidy for you, fuck off. Screw those frog fucks. Piss, shit, merde, to hell with them.

    Yes, of course I'm drunk. What does that have to do with anything?

    THE CHASE CORPORATE CHALLENGE is back this year, with dates in May and June. I heartily recommend participating in it, if you're in New York or another city that hosts it. It's usually the only opportunity for office girljocks to show up their male co-workers, and they do so with gusto. Such a parade of office lady-muscle you rarely see--it's really a tremendous and beautiful event series.