JESUS CHRIST! Remember to turn the knives points-down in yor dishwasher. This is AWFUL.

I RECEIVED ONE OF MY SEXY MOUSEPADS in the mail on Friday. It looks really good. I'm working on a new piece for a poster; it will involve several composted rendered figures and text. In the end it should be my most ambitious work since "Novus Ordo Seclorum".

HARD TO IMAGINE WHAT THIS GUY WENT THROUGH.

SCI-FI IS RUNNING A STAR TREK MARATHON, and right now they're showing "Mirror, Mirror"--the greatest of all Star Trek episodes and the inspiration for the brilliant Art Adams' Monkey Man & O'Brien/Gen-13 team-up comic. One of the interesting things about it is that because they're wearing skimpier clothes, you can see the change in physical fitness norms between the 60s and now---Nichelle Nichols looks sooo yummy in a bare midriff.

A MAN IN WEST MILFORD, NEW JERSEY, WAS BADLY BEATEN BY A 150 POUND FEMALE. He's in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder, among other injuries. She was a real bear.

OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I've been thinking about my anonymity, and what I'm protecting myself from by remaining concealed. I'm not quite ready to come on out--and there will never be an announcement--but I have been taking baby steps. I've met some prominent femuscle promoters lately, out in the real world, and talked to them about what it's like to be unveiled. It's really made me appreciate guys like Orrin J. Heller, who was very public about his interest in muscular women as early as the 1930s. That guy had a set of balls.

I POSTED A FEW SCREEN CAPS from the Prefontaine Classic Track & Field events, at the HerBiceps Yahoo! Group.

GW POSTED A LINK on TwoPossum's board at DtV to a video clip showing Pam Anderson's muscularity. The link is from the looping of something called "Striperella", a Stan Lee cartoon about, well, I don't suppose I really need to spell it out. An octogenarian making a cartoon about a superhero stripper? Hmm.

Long ago I noticed Stan Lee has a tendency toward the naughty. Maybe I'm the only one who remembers Nightcat, an abysmally bad comic published by Marvel, accompanied by a letter from Stan that conveyed an enthusiastic personal interest in its real-life protagonist. It was some sort of licensing deal for a really cheesy pop singer who dressed like a stripper or a dominatrix--very risque stuff for the period. As a reader, I got the impression that Stan was a little out on a limb at Marvel for going ahead with Nightcat, and that following its flop, his influence was diminished. Maybe a reader has the full story?

FISTMAN POSTED SOME NEW FREE STUFF on HerBiceps, featuring the scrumptious Molly Pennington. God, I love the name "Molly".

HERE'S A WILSON-PHILLIPS PHOTO that makes my point.

I'M UNABLE TO PROVIDE A PHOTO to prove my point, but my recollection is that back in the early 90s, Chynna Phillips was curvy and very busty. I was crusing through IMDB, and found these photos from the late 90s. Not only has she shriveled down to a scarecrow, but she's married to a Baldwin. I doubt I could have imagined a worse fate for her.

HERE'S ALTER-EGO, the site the foul betrayer describes in Wonderlust.

SUPERGIRLS INCORPORATED just added a Powergirl gallery to its Tom Burgos section.

SOME NICE ANNIKA SHOTS, 1, 2 showing some arm thickness but not justifying the media hype about her bulging muscles.

WHAT A NICE MAN! It's not every day you get an offer to participate in a business deal like this. Except, oddly enough, from Nigeria.

DEAR SIR,

IT IS MY PLEASURE TO CONTACT YOU REQUESTING FOR YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WHERE WE COULD MAKE A FUND TRANSFER OF TWENTY-THREE MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$23,800,000.00) FROM MY MINISTRY'S BANK ACCOUNT FOR OUR PERSONAL USE. THIS REQUEST INVOLVES THREE OTHERS AND I.

I WORK FOR THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF AVIATION, ABUJA, NIGERIA AND MY POSITION IS PRINCIPAL ACCOUNT. TWO OF THE DIRECTORS IN THIS SPECIAL REQUEST WILL GO ON RETIREMENT AT THE END OF THIS YEAR AND FOR THIS REASON, WE HAVE INCLUDED THE ABOVE SUM TO THE BULK SUM APPROVED TO BE PAID TO OUR SUNDRY CONTRACTORS WHOSE PROJECTS HAVE BEEN COMPLETED AND COMMISSIONED.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT THIS SUM EMANATED FROM A PROJECT INITIALLY CONTRACTED TO A FIRM IN EUROPE. THIS WAS PRECISELY THREE YEARS AGO AND ON OUR RECORDS OF ENTRIES, WE HAD TREATED THE CONTRACT AS HAVING BEEN EXECUTED! AND COMMISSIONED ALONGSIDE WITH OTHERS NOW OUTSTANDING.

IMPORTANTLY, IT MUST BE UNDERSTOOD THAT THE DIRECTORS INVOLVED IN THIS TRANSFER BUSINESS IN THEIR RECENT BOARD MEETINGS PRESENTED THE BILLS AND THIS AMONG OTHERS RECEIVED APPROVALS FOR IMMEDIATE REMITTANCE. MEANWHILE, WE HAVE WORKED OUT THE MODALITIES NEEDED TO TRANSFER THE FUND.

ALSO, WE WISH TO ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR INTEREST WILL BE PROTECTED AS REGARDS SECURITY, WHICH IS RISK-FREE. THEREFORE, WE URGENTLY REQUEST FOR YOUR BANK ACCOUNT PARTICULARS WHERE THE US$23.8M SHALL BE PAID INTO IN ONLY ONE INSTALLMENT. THAT IS THE ACCOUNT MUST BE ABLE TO RECEIVE THE ABOVE SUM AT A GO. YOU WILL BE HEAVILY REWARDED FOR THE ACTIVE ROLL YOU WILL PLAY IN THIS BUSINESS. WE ARE NOT UNAWARE THAT THE FUND WHEN ARRIVES YOUR ACCOUNT WOULD SUFFER TAX AND OTHER BANK CHARGES IN YOUR COUNTRY. ALL WILL BE DEDUCTED BEFORE DISBURSEMENT. WE SHALL OPEN ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY WHERE OUR VARIOUS SHARES SHALL BE TRANSFERRED BUT THIS WILL BE FULLY DISCUSSED LATER.

FINALLY, WE BELIEVE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THIS BUSINESS SHOULD NOT GO ON AIR. YOU SHOULD PLEASE TREAT IT AS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AND PLEASE REACH ME QUICKLY BY REPLYING ME FOR THE ACTION TO START.

ON BEHALF OF MY COLLEAGUES, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR ACCEPTANCE IN ADVANCE.

YOURS SINCERELY,

DR. OMAR RICO

I wonder if he's any less a fictional entity than The Mighty Lingster?

TOP 25 KEYWORD SEARCHES that lead the unsuspecting to Lingster's Big Mouth:

1. lingster
2. MORPHS
3. yoko
4. mouth
5. matsugane
6. BIG
7. BREASTED
8. she-hulk
9. poser
10. +
11. 4
12. hughes
13. female
14. mighty
15. Hulk
16. bet
17. dress
18. up
19. aberration
20. Lingster
21. bearchive
22. muscle
23. shoes
24. tits
25. nude

Aberration? Shoes?

MCG'S EMAIL SET ME LOOKING, and I found a photo of Miss Anderson looking extraordinarily busty and brawny.

BANDWIDTH LIMITS BE DAMNED! McGarnagal writes:

Hi Lingster

Posted a MG morph of Pamela Anderson parts strung together in a semicoherent whole. (Though, If you've seen her lately she seems to expanding without my help.) Alas it is 3.7 MB download so if you don;t have a cable modem or DSL it may be hard to downlaod at Yahoo.

It's here at the Yahoo! Female Muscle Growth group in the MCG folder in the files section.

Also I posted two pics at Wreckshop's noard, so at least you should be able to see that.

It's really a terrific piece of work.

I'M WATCHING DESPIERTA AMERICA RIGHT NOW, and it's very much like Today or Good Morning America, except for three things:

Everyone's speaking in Spanish, obviously.

All the women have pronounced bosoms and clothes that show them off.

Periodically the cast breaks out into song and dance numbers.

Like Willard Scott, Despierta America's cast does a birthday segment, but for children. As today's segment seemed to conclude, women in leather short-shorts and tight-tops came out to join the cast on stage. Music began playing, the main camera ascended to a higher altitude, and everyone on stage began dancing something like a conga.

Now they've got a band onstage, and they're performing a dance number while they play a song with a salsa beat. Even the tubby accordion player is gyrating.

I'm gonna watch this every day!

SERENA WILLIAMS on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week. Nice article about Annika inside.

RIDE 'EM COWGIRL. An Asian girl so pneumatically overendowed that it's udderly ridiculous.

I'VE STAYED AWAY FROM THE WHOLE FAT KID JEDI VIDEO, mainly because I figure he might be a reader. But I fear the cultural impact of this brief film may have grown too large to ignore. (I actually had a conversation in Starbuck's the other day with a friend of the Waxy guy, about the effort to buy the Star Wars kid an iPod--apparently the total is up above $4000.)

GRIBBLE WRITES:

Hi again.

It would appear that you have a unique way of determining whether a comic company is good or bad. I'm not sure it's a good method but that's not my primary concern. I'm here to defend what I think is an under-rated comic company and in order to do so I would like to point out something...

There are indeed a lot of characters in the Crossgen universe who have no pupils... I took a random sampling of five titles ("The First #23", "Ruse #6", "Sojourn # 18", "Crux # 20" and "Negation # 17") and found many examples myself... HOWEVER, this phenomenon seemed limited to NON-HUMANS, I.E. the trolls in Sojourn and the First (a race of gods) in The First to name a few.

I found no HUMANS to be missing pupils in the aforementioned comics. Therefore this does not seem to be a "Quality" issue but instead it appears to be a creative issue. I myself see nothing wrong with trolls (again as an example) having no pupils, in fact I think they look pretty cool like that.

Now having pointed that out, I would suggest using a more common method of assessing a comic book and its publisher such as basing your opinion on the writing and the artwork. If you did indeed incorporate this more widely used method in your valuation then please cite specific examples so that I may have a chance to respond to these as well.

Gribble

WHY WATCH DESPIERTA AMERICA, at 7am in the morning on Univision? For the weather.

OK, THE NEAL POLLACK PARTY STRAIGHT DOPE is a bit of a letdown. Apparently there was a party sponsored by Gawker last night, and Pollack was the guest of honor. Our source informs us that the crowd was largely composed of publishing industry types, with a smattering of the NYC bloggerati. The male/female ratio was at best 5:2. Oh, and they ran out of booze before 9pm.

Here's a question for Pollack: if the superhuman female transformation fetish community threw you a party (not that we're offering), do you think we would run out of booze? Fuck no. Under no circumstances. We would be ass-deep in booze and we'd hire a dozen female bodybuilders to strip from business clothes into Wonder Woman bustiers while they spun around and let their hair fall out of buns, you fuck! You coulda been the guy with the most cake, but instead you were drinking tap water before Buffy was over.

ENTERPRISE: They still don't get it. The producers and writers are retooling Enterprise, supposedly, to meet fan expectations and get rid of all that namby-pamby crap. But the crew was attacked, twice, by the same Klingons on this mission--a mission upon which the fate of the Earth supposedly hangs--and yet they still treated them with kid gloves the second time. If they can't find the cojones to kill some goddamned Klingons, then I don't know who the hell they expect to watch this piece of shit.

UPDATE: They were attacked a third time, and they finally killed the fuckers. I stand corrected.

THIS IS ONE OF THE COOLEST WORKS OF ART I've seen in awhile. Maybe somebody like Eegore could color it? [Hint, hint] That image and many others hosted at Freya.

MARKNEW SENDS ALONG THIS ARTICLE, from Reuters, about correlation between physical strength of mothers versus how many male children they bear. I'm not sure I believe it, though. For instance, here's a bit of the story:

The link between muscle mass and male children was particularly marked, they say. Among women whose arm muscle was less than 33 centimeters, three boys were born for every five girls. In those with the biggest muscles -- over 38.9 centimeters -- eight boys were born for every five girls.

The research project was conducted in Ethiopia, a country not known for its beefy women. Converting from metric to 'Mer'can, 33 cm = 13 inches, 38.9 cm = 15.3 inches. I'm wondering, how big was that sample size of women who have arm muscles bigger than 15.3"? Because my experience is that nearly all non-overweight women in the U.S. are at or below 13 inches in arm girth. Step up to 15", and I'm thinking you're looking at a very small group of women, who probably have unusually high testosterone levels (thus causing more male births?).

I'm interested in getting input on this from anyone who knows something about the science of this...Myostatinus?

ARTIST YITZHAK'S WORK (1, 2) is always worth looking at, especially his take on the J. Lo / Ben relationship.

UNIMPORTANT QUESTION: Why do so many people misspell "lose" as "loose"? I never saw this error when I was a kid, but in the last few years it seems to have become very common. For instance, the word "looser" is a not-so-frequently-used inflected form of "loose", essentially meaning "more loose". But "loser" is a well-used word (perhaps one that some of you hear relatively often) that is often misspelled "looser". What's interesting about this--if there is something interesting about it--is that those who misspell loser are focused more on the long "U" sound rather than in the "Z" sound, since the Z sound usually accompanies a single O before an S, followed by an E, though there are exceptions, like "choose".

OY VEY. I got an email from Gribble. He writes:

Greetings esteemed Mighty Lingster,

I just happen to be catching up on some of your posts to your blog and I saw this...

*"There's also a big strong weregirl of some kind in 'Negation', a bad comic by a bad publisher"*

To this I must say... WHAT THE #!@*^& IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?! "Negation" is a GREAT comic and its publisher "Crossgen" is a pretty good publisher! Please explain what gripe you have with this comic/publisher so I can set you straight.

Gribble

My evaluation of Crossgen, though in many ways deep and complex, can be summed up in two words: "absent pupils". The number of characters in Crossgen Comics who have no pupils in their eyes is enormous. Call it Lingster's First Proof of Comic Book Quality, that the comic company should be considered good in inverse ratio to the portion of its leading characters who have unpupiled, unirised eyes.

READER PHIL WRITES IN to ask why I want to crash Neal Pollack's party. Look, I don't want to ruin the guy's life or anything, but he mocked our fellow fetishists in print, and that's a debt that must be paid. Worse, he IS a fellow fetishist, which makes him the most treacherous sort of man--like the friend in school who gave up a confidence for a quick laugh. Anyway, I'm going to bed--been staying up too late the last few nights, working on a big render. I have high confidence we'll know more in the morning.

OK, LOOKS LIKE WE MISSED THE POLLACK PARTY, but my source promises a play-by-play in the morning.

READER DELMO WRITES IN to say that he's been editing a bunch of Annika Sorenstam photos, but has yet to see any sign of muscularity:

They just look like regular arms. Could be a trick of the camera, making them look tame, or these reporters don't know what a muscular arm looks like.

However, golf aficionado and loyal Lingster reader Michael points to a link at Golf Digest for a before-and-after view of Annika's budding power. You can see her during her 1996 waif period, and in her current pumped-up form.

APPARENTLY NEAL POLLACK IS BEING FETED BY GAWKER AT THIS VERY MOMENT, just a few blocks from me. Details will be shared as they become available. Lingster welcomes all sources.

Notify me ASAP if you are in Greenwich Village or SoHo and available to crash the party before 11pm EST.

ANOTHER COOL RENDER FROM MICHAEL LOH.

TIME MAGAZINE is running a feature on Annika Sorenstam, the female golfer. In it, she is described thusly:

And when you meet her, you also wonder whether this nice grinning woman in the lime-green golf shirt really could be a sporting machine.

Then you see those biceps, and you figure she could tear your arm off and hit a ball 200 yds. with it.

Search as I might, I could find no photos of Miss Sorenstam in clothes that are remotely revealing, but here's another article that refers to her biceps filling the sleeves of her shirt. She's apparently gotten quite strong from lifting.

OPRAH WINFREY TO REMAIN ON AIR THROUGH 2008. Whew. I was really worried about that.

THE CHICAGO NBC AFFILIATE recently ran a segment on tricep exercises women can do to improve their arm sexiness.

READER BRIAN WRITES IN to notify Lingster Central that the Lexington, Kentucky Sci-Fi Comic Convention will be holding a She-Hulk look-a-like contest. The solicitation reads:

You got the look?
Are you buff?
Are you gorgeous?
Are you GREEN?
She-Hulk Look-a-like Contest sponsored by Collectibles, Etc. with a $500 prize

Brian wonders if some other reader of Lingster's Big Mouth might be up for photographing this doubtless entertaining event?

AMAZON RENDER, pretty darn good.

GOODNESS! An outrageously sexy, rogue horny Vulcan is loose on Enterprise! Only a thorough pole-dance will cure her delirious nymphomania. What are we to do? The crew is mystified!
IN THE NAME OF GOD, FUCK HER! What, is everybody stupid on that goddamn ship? RAAAAGH!!!

COMICS UPDATE: Here's a good interview about the new Tesla Strong book, with lots of pictures.

I SAW MY FIRST SEGWAY TODAY, near Greeley Square. It was up on the sidewalk and so quiet I hardly saw it coming--it nearly ran me over. As it went by, it trailed a strong odor of marijuana--so I guess it was also my first Segway-being-operated-under-the-influence sighting. If Dean Kamen has his way, though, it probably won't be the last in either category.

AN INTERESTING ARTICLE ON THE HISTORY OF WOMEN'S MUSCULAR DEVELOPMENT. It's about the boys at Physical Culture Publishing, about 100 years ago. Pretty interesting stuff, with a bit of eye candy included.

NEW COMICS ALERT! America's Best Comics has two terrific comics out today "The Many Worlds of Tesla Strong" and "Tom Strong's Terrific Tales". There's more Art Adams pencil and inkwork in these two comics than I've seen in years. Take a look at the cover of Tesla's book and take note of her brawny, solid arms. There's quite a bit of that, much of it drawn by the best cheesecake illustrators extant, such as Adam Hughes and Frank Cho. I recommend both comics.

There's also a big strong weregirl of some kind in "Negation", a bad comic by a bad publisher, but she's kind of hot.

HEY72917 POSTED A LINK to tonight's Elimidate on DtV. (We don't know much about HEY72917, except that he's presumably from Fort Smith, Arkansas.) Apparently a girl named Joy, who was Miss Fitness 1998 from Wisconsin, is gonna show off her muscles.

HEY! First sale recorded!

INTRODUCING LINGSTER'S BRAZEN SCHEME TO MONETIZE HIS BRAND! I've put just one product up thus far, a mousepad with a fresh render of my old Sky Maidens on Patrol piece. More will be coming later: posters, mugs, t-shirts...that sort of thing.

Why am I doing this? Well, if I sell a whole lot of product, it might actually bring in a noticeable amount of money. Also, CafePress, the merchandising company that produces this stuff, will soon allow comic book publishing. So I figured I might as well get on board ahead of the rush.

So don't walk, RUN to Lingster's new CafePress shop!

WHOOO-EEEE! Look at this Jamie Reed! She's nicely put together. I'm gonna have to spend more time in Jersey.

Another good catch from Fistman at HerBiceps.

I NEVER REALLY SAW PHOTOS OF THIS LARA MORGAN BEFORE. She is exceptionally hot. She's nice and tall for a muscle-girl, too: 5'7". (That's 170cm for all you people in the non-American-speaking-world.)

IF YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN BRAINS, buy land on the moon!! The land has been claimed by an entity called the Lunar Embassy, but don't worry, it must be legit because they've been mentioned on TV. Remember, "your registration also secures your right to vote on future decisions regard the Moon and in setting up a Lunar Government."

HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN FOLLOWING THE TARZELLA SERIES over on DtV? Steve the Z published the first one some time ago, the second one turned up today or yesterday. It's pretty good, especially if you like the idea of petite, well-mannered housewives being transformed into iconic superwomen. (No, Neal, we haven't forgotten about you.)

THE MARGE MUSCLES EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS is on right now, on FOX! Turn it on!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE CRITICAL OF BUSH'S NORTH KOREA POLICY, this scarily hilarious article might give you some idea of the problems inherent in the situation, albino sea cucumbers and raccoons be damned.

I'VE GOT THIS WEIRD HANG-UP: I like to clean when I'm drunk. Arriving home at 3am this morning, following 9 hours of drinking, I spent an hour scrubbing the kitchen floor and sanitizing the toilet. Not that I'm a slob the rest of the time, but I turn into a real neat-freak when I've had a couple. It's an odd thing, y'know? What kind of a person becomes more anal when his inhibitions are supposedly lowered?

IF YOU'VE GOT 10 OR 15 SPARE HOURS, you might want to check Thomas Gramstad's Amazon Connection. I can't believe I never saw this before--I'm definitely going to hard link it in the left-side menu bar.

JUST WATCHING THE SCENE IN JOHNNY MNEMONIC (Keanu's first turn in cyberspace) where Dina Meyer and the dolphin microwave Dolph Lundgren. Dina's the brawniest hottie in Hollywood. I'd love it if she took to spending more time in the gym.

I JUST GOT OFF THE SUBWAY. There was a woman on the train who had a shopping bag filled with video tapes. Each one had written on it "The Odd Couple" and then a number, like 78 or 62 or 34. There were at least 12 tapes.

That's a lotta Tony Randall for one weekend.

OK, NEW RENDER POSTED! It's at the PoserFMG Yahoo! Group.

WHO'S READY FOR A HOT NEW RENDER? Huh? Who's your daddy?

Say it.

Say it.

OK, I'll think about posting it.

LOOK AT WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL:

Our members are always suggesting ways for us to improve our TheCounter.com service. In order to respond to those suggestions and continue developing TheCounter.com Premium Edition, we have decided we must concentrate on our premium service and eliminate the free service, effective July 31, 2003.

To retain your statistics you will need to upgrade at: https://ssl.internet.com/thecounter/reg/index.cgi?upgr

As a TheCounter.com Premium Edition member, you will have access to the in-depth report statistics online, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week as well as the weekly stats e-mail. You will also have access to four different styles of counters, including the invisible counter.

Act now! The current rate for a Premium Edition membership is $17.95/year per account. On July 1, 2003 the Premium Edition membership rate will increase to $21.95/year per account.

What a bunch of schmucks! There are so many free counters, why on earth would I pay for it? I mean, before they got to force-feed me advertisements in their weekly TheCounter mail. Now they'll save the miniscule amount of database and bandwidth Lingster's Big Mouth consumes, but lose their very valuable affiliation with yours truly, and get on my list at the same time (i.e. my shit list).

Plus their stats kinda sucked.

A SOCIALIST SHRINK has determined that 29% of the population of the United States is mentally ill--more than the residents of all the other countries surveyed. On the opposite end were the highly sane people of Chile. I'm not making this up. I think the obvious takeaway from this is that we need to increase the number of people who qualify as mentally ill by this quack's reckoning.

Seriously, if he's found that 29% of the people in the U.S. are fucked up, and only 17% in Chile, than clearly the overall health of the society is not reflected by the fucked-up'ness of the population. Where would you rather live? Maybe he's just diagnosing capitalists as mentally ill?

SOMEBODY POSTED SOME FRANK CHO DRAWINGS AT BEARCHIVE. Take a look at his product selection--he's really gifted.

NOT REALLY SURE WHAT TO CALL THIS -- Burgos' description is "She-Hulk as Velma Kelly in Chicago", but it could just as easily be a really built flapper. You need to be a member of the BAS2 Yahoo! Group.

I'M WORKING ON A LITTLE PROJECT, sort of an alternate Wonder Woman. Nothing too involved--nothing to rival Altawoman--just something to amuse myself and maybe a few other people. I posted an image of her (rendered with Poser 5's Firefly engine) to Wreck Shop's message board. I'm thinking of calling her "Power Princess" or something like that---I'd be interested in hearing ideas from all of you. I figure she's from an island of amazons located somewhere off the coast of Scotland--no outsider has been there in 500 years, not because of any prohibition of the gods, but simply because the place is so cold, wet, small and remote. (A BP team was supposed to go there to look for oil in 1992, but they got lost and wound up in Iceland by mistake.)

Also, what's she missing? Should I add wings? A sword? Make her boobs bigger?

A NICE "TRUE" STORY on DtV, called, simply "Anne". It's actually very credible.

I WAS ON THE SUBWAY LAST NIGHT WITH A STRANGE MAN. He appeared to be Orthodox Jewish, as he was wearing a black suit, black tie and black fedora. The fedora was a bit jaunty, though, and not at all the rounded piece of geekware you see perched atop your standard-issue Hasidim, so I figured him for a more mainstream ortho.

He was drunk. I mean seriously polluted, and having trouble keeping his feet as the subway car accelerated, braked and shimmied. His accent was strange--I wasn't close enough to hear clearly what he was saying, but it sounded Russian. As the car moved from stop to stop, he lectured/harangued the other riders--I caught one phrase where he said, "you're not native Americans, you're naive Americans." What really got me, though, is that in between pontifications, he was making trumpet sounds, playing the theme song from "My Three Sons". I was staring at him, horrorstruck, when I met the eye of a young woman who was laughing at him. Her laughter was contagious, and before long I was nearly convulsed with spasms of hilarity, barely able to stand.

SORRY about lack of activity, but there's a good reason. I spent the weekend configuring my PC and file system for Poser 5! Soon we shall render!

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL DOUBTLESS SAY IT AGAIN: I just don't get the Japanese fixation on sailor-suit clad schoolgirls. Weird!

COMIC BOOK TED WRITES:

I gave up on Enterprise.

I stated before that if the Borg showed up, I was not going to watch any more episodes. I found out the Borg were coming to the show, so I just left early. The last episode this season is supposed to lead up to "big changes" in the format of the show which will carry on to the next season. At this point, I don't care what they do, I'm not coming back. Nor do I think I'll check out any other new Trek franchise material unless Rick Berman is gone. (If I hear that something is actually good, I might take a peak, but I won't bother otherwise.)

The good news is the Firefly is coming to DVD, including the episodes that never aired in the US (but are going to air in the UK). Yes another lament that good sci fi gets canned, but Enterprise rolls on because it's Trek.

BTW, if you're tired of cutting and pasting, if you're using Safari, you can just select text and hit Command-Shift-L and it will open the link in a new window. You can do similar things with Camino w/ Command-Shift-U. Doesn't have to be a browser window either, it's a "Service", so it's always available when you select text. Look in the Services menu under the "application" menu (the one next to the apple, which is named after the application). If you really want to get into it, you can edit the command-keys for the services.

I think Apple will eventually add it as a contextual menu in Safari. It's still a beta so Apple hasn't done all the polishing yet. If you're doing your surfing on your mac, sure hope you've checked out Camino and Safari. They're worth the effort for tabbed browsing.

But that doesn't mean that the links shouldn't show up as links on thevalkyrie, but thought that the hint might help a bit to ease you over the irritation.

-- Comic Book Ted

Many thanks to Comic Book Ted.

IF YOU'RE GONNA JOIN ONE PAY SITE, it probably oughtta be Fistman's Her Biceps site. The guy just works his ass off getting video and photos of ludicrously good-looking muscle-girls. Apparently he had a photo shoot with Elena Seiple today, who's cute as a button and strong as a Peterbilt. He showed me some of the photos--in a lot of them she's bulging out of street clothes and formal wear. He also posts a lot of movies--it's just a good site, and he's not looking to screw anybody. Plus he's been around for awhile so he's clearly not a fly-by-night operator.