SLOW NEWS DAY

Apparently there's not enough going on in New York today, so the Daily News put a cheesecake photo of Mariah Carey on the cover today. I'm not complaining.

FAMOUS GOLFER LIKES BIG BOOBS

...and we mean really big boobs. Reader Jonesy writes:

It really isn't about golf, but about Candace Beatty, the fiancee of the new British Open Champion. Caught a bit of her at the conclusion of the telecast a couple of Sundays ago, but didn't find a decent enough picture to write this until today. You can see what I'm talking about here (http://uk.sports.yahoo.com/030721/46/e4o3y.html).

She's the one holding the trophy, aka the Claret Jug. Also, enough jokes have been made about the fact that last year he was playing on the Hooters Tour, where the trophy would be known as the Claret Jugs.

Anyway, not necessarily a muscular woman, but a healthy one.

Just felt like sharing, I hadn't sent you anything in a while. Hope you're doing well, and thanks for writing regularly.

You wanna talk about golf hazards? Put that woman out on the green and you'll probably knock two strokes off everybody else's game.

MORE RENDERS ADDED TO WRECK SHOP

I added some additional renders to the board.

NEW RENDER AT WRECK SHOP

I posted a new render of a female superhuman to Wreck Shop's message boards. You can post responses there.

NICE RENDERS

Here's a sexy muscle girl, getting ready for a night on the town and a very busty spy.

NOT A GREAT COMIC WEEK

I didn't find a single title worth buying this week. However I spent a little more time shopping as a result, and found a new Love & Rockets comic that came out in the last few weeks. There's no muscle in Love & Rockets #8 - this time - but there's a lot of nicely built ladies. Also, there's a Love & Rockets Sketchbook out that has a female bodybuilder or two in it.

STAN LEE BEHIND ANOTHER SOFT-CORE 'TOON

I told you Stan Lee is naughty - next up following Striperalla is "Hef's Superbunnies", about a team of superpowered centerfolds. I hope my libido holds up as well as those two old pervs.

READING LINGSTER COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Flush out that prostate, lads! It's a fairly silly story, but hey, who am I to question it?

FUNNY POSTCARD

Marc2410 linked to this postcard art from DtV. It would, of course, be much better if it were a man rather than another woman who was depicted as the weakling.

MUSCLE BEACH DOCUMENTARY

The Travel Channel will be airing "Secrets of Muscle Beach" tomorrow at 2pm EST. It will probably be mostly about men, but there are bound to be some shots of women, too.

OUT OF CONTROL STORY MEASUREMENTS

Long time readers will be familiar with Lingster's ire for ludicrous measurements. Now somebody has gone and pissed me off. In Strong Girl, the Origin of Power, some new author who was dumb enough to use his real name has the temerity to write the following sentence:

Strong Girl then flexed her unbelievably huge and ripped 54 inch biceps, small for her, but she hadn’t had her daily workout that day, usually she wouldn’t even go out of the house anymore without her biceps fully pumped to their usual 65 inch circumference.

Ugh.

HERBICEPS DOING YOU A SOLID

Fisty's got a special on new memberships for the summer. He recently posted photos from NCAA track events, one or two of them really grabbed my attention.

THECOUNTER.COM ENDING FREE SERVICE

I'm not somebody who has much sense of entitlement. Still, I'm a little bit annoyed that the TheCounter.com is ending its free service in two weeks. I signed up for the service nineteen months ago, and the deal was I put their graphic up, and they perform the very-low-bandwidth service of counting my visits. Now they're backing out.

Does anyone know anything about why they're doing this? I've tried Googling for information, but there's just too much garbage out there to filter.

I already use Nedstat as a redundant source (the numbers are more realistic and the features are superior), but TheCounter.com shows the tally in the graphic, and as we pull in towards 400,000 total visits, it's good for bragging rights. I am annoyed. Please forward information about this to me, if you know anything.

I feel like giving somebody a hard time about it.

A CUTE RENDER

I like the body assembled for this render. It's amusing when Poser artists put their characters in ridiculous strappy leather thingies like that. Leather doesn't do much for me. "Naughty" leather just seems silly--what's naughty anymore?

ANOTHER ALL-TIME HIGH

We hit 1059 visits yesterday. I think we have a summer pattern falling into place--people go away for the weekend and then play catch-up on Monday. So we get a big bulge on Monday, and then traffic falls off the rest of the week. Glad you're all still interested.

NEW LIEFELD COMIC

I thought Rob Liefeld had crawled under a rock someplace, but apparently he's launching a new comic. I hated his work. A reader writes in with a link to one of the variant covers of Liefeld's new enterprise. It features a muscular girl, but as you'd expect from a Liefeld comic, the physical proportions are all out of wack: 44" chest, 18" waist, hugely muscular arms on an otherwise slim figure, with said arms being so long she could reach her knees without bending over.

Plus he seems to be ripping off Marvel's Ultimate cover template, i.e. solid vertical color bars with a simplified vignette or portrait image.

I just don't like the guy. I can forgive arrogance in a genius, but in a hack it's inexcusable.

AN INTERESTING BLOG

The fella seems to be fond of boobs--Mt. Molelog. It'd probably be for the best if you didn't check the site at work.

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY

"Linda Cardellini breasts" on Yahoo! I'm sure Miss Cardellini will be gratified to know people are looking.

June, 2002 post

NOW THIS IS SEXY

As a gadget freak, I find the new Treo 600 to be very appealing. There's something sublime about all of these various devices--phone, computer, planner--merging into one. It can be overdone, of course--a few months ago I saw one Samsung model (I think), which weighed about two pounds and had a camera, voice recorder, MP3 player etc built it. It retailed for something like $800. But a nice, compact apparatus like this Treo model is just right.

TV ALERT: MONK

I saw a preview for this week's Monk, airing on Friday; there's a really built circus strongwoman in it. My guess is that Monk will have to interview her at some point during the show. His reaction should be interesting.

NEW LOOK

I was bored with the old look. I know, I know, I just changed it to orange in March or something, but the whole clunky "I don't know HTML even though I have my own Web-site" look was just bugging me. So now we've got something professional-looking. Reasonably professional-looking, anyway.

ATHLETIC MATRIX GIRL

Miyu posted a new render of which I am fond.

RESIN WONDER WOMAN

I'm not one for "action figures" and "collectibles", but this one is really hot.

Link courtesy Geoff Johns' site.

LEONARD KIRK LEAVING JSA

Delmo raised an interesting point--we should praise Leonard Kirk. Kirk has been the penciller on JSA for about two years, and he's made a point of drawing Power Girl in a very powerful fashion. Issue 50, which came out this past week, had some really impressive renderings of everybody's favorite bodacious superheroine. Unfortunately, Kirk has been dismissed from the job (tardiness) and there's just one more issue due out in his run.

JSA is not the first comic in which he's drawn muscular women. Some of you will remember Marvel's Ultragirl mini-series, which actually featured before-and-after shots of a young woman becoming muscular as a result of developing superpowers. (Copies available here.) Another high point of the Ultragirl mini-series was that the title character's ex-boyfriend shows up after her muscles have developed. In one scene she is shaking her fist at him, as her meaty bicep bulges. He faces her, but it's evident from his smooth, bump-less arms that even if she didn't have super-powers, she'd be much stronger than he. Good stuff.

It's a real tragedy that Kirk won't be drawing the imminent Power Girl origin ret-con. The new artist, Don Kramer, seems to be good, but I don't think he has a history of drawing musclegirls like our pal Leonard Kirk does. Hopefully the editor will insist on some continuity in her build.

You can help support Leonard by purchasing work or requesting commissions from his agent's site. I'd love to see him do some fresh Ultragirl stuff, myself.

[Update: Don Kramer is quoted at Pulse:

"Since I'm almost done working on issue # 52, I've got to draw almost all the JSA so far," said Kramer. "I really like working on the Flash and I love the character of Mr. Terrific, even if his costume is a pain in the ass to draw. Captain Marvel is a lot of fun to work with. I also like working on the Star Spangled Kid. I'm not into drawing the more ... well endowed women, but I'll still try to do the job well."

Yeah, well, he better try pretty fucking hard, or he's going to hear from me.]

ALTAWOMAN GETS A REPRIEVE

Leee writes:

Spread the word! Ring the bell! Tell the masses! Wake the children! (alright don't do that one) AltaWoman is here to stay!  After some deep soul searching and Google searching, I was able to find a credit card processing company that doesn't charge the stupid $750 fee to use Visa cards (at least for now).  So the AltaWoman SuperSite is back online, now accepting new members and will have it's latest storyline released very soon.

That's a relief.

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY

"Boobs in cats mouth" at Google. You can't make this shit up.

Also, honorable mention: "are jennifer connelly boobs real" also at Google. The answer, of course, is "What boobs?" Here she is at the 2002 Oscars getting out-busted by Helen Mirren, who's old enough to be her mother. Mirren never starved herself or had her breasts reduced surgically in order to get work, and she's been in movies and TV shows since the 60s. A toast, gentleman, to Helen Mirren's enduring rack!

THE MYSTERIOUS DOCTOR X

Reader "Doctor X" writes:

Dear Lingster,

I'm an avid reader of your weblog, and thought I might have something interesting to contribute.

On Friday night I was out shopping and passing by the electronics section. The TVs were tuned to ABC and showing Whose Line Is It Anyway? It was the end of the first show of the night, and Wayne Brady was singing an improv musical number next to a very sexy female bodybuilder, who was posing for the audience as he sang. At the end of the number, we were treated to her lifting and carrying Wayne across the stage.

Unfortunatly, ABC has already taken the show's info off their main page, so I have no idea who this lovely display of feminine power was. If anybody caught it, it was the July 11th episode at 7:30 Central time.

But I'm not showing up completely empty-handed. I was perusing through the site's photo galleries, and found a picture of Chyna with Wayne Brady in a game of Song Styles. Apparently someone on the show is a fan of femuscle, so believe me, I'll tuning in Friday nights to catch a glimpse of more. ;)

If you feel like publishing this in your weblog, just call me Doctor X.

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
[Doctor X]

Thank you, Doctor X. (Normally I make up the nicknames for people who write in, but if somebody wants to label himself "Doctor X" I'm not going to get in his way.)

WELL, OK, I WAS WRONG. Homeless to Harvard is actually really good. There are a lot of screwed up people--junkies, deadbeats, thieves, drunks, etc--in my family and I've always had a nagging fear that I would wind up like them. When I'm down, one of the things that gets me out of bed in the morning is the awareness of what happens to people who don't get out of bed. I've known that other people have this fear, but I've never seen it protrayed in such a gruesome way: the garbage piling over in the kitchen, the dirty bathroom, the television always on, dead eyes glued to it. Brrr. A few months ago I mentioned to you guys that sometimes when I get drunk, I go on crazy cleaning binges. I guess that's the fear bubbling up.

Probably a lot of you have similar feelings--anxiety that you'll succumb to weakness and become something you loathe.

[Update: Actually, I had similar feelings after watching Trainspotting, but I don't think that movie did as good a job of conveying the fear as Homeless to Harvard.]

GREETINGS, PROFESSOR HAWKING.

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY: "Picture Entenmann cookies". MMmmmmm...Entenmann's cookies....

LIFETIME TV is replaying Homeless to Harvard tonight at 9pm EST. It's an inspirational story of one young women's struggle against poverty and homelessness, but I'll be watching in the hopes of seeing some nice shots of Thora Birch's boobs.

I may be shallow, but I'm not a liar.

DELMO WRITES IN:

JSA #50 came out, with Len Kirk giving us his muscular Power Girl again. Shame he's leaving the book. There was also a comic based on Tura Satana that came out. I don't know if you are a fan of hers but, thought I would mention it.

I saw both comics. The JSA one is pretty good--especially the back cover, with Power Girl popping out of her costume. As for the Tura Satana comic---eh. I thought it was a not-terribly-well-done homage to Frazetta.

IT'S WORTH LINKING TO TOMNINE'S FEMALE MUSCLE DIRECTORY. Some jewels in there.

I WAS SEARCHING FOR MUSCULAR WOMEN in the news but found something else instead. Somebody needs to put this kid on a diet.

DID YOU KNOW the Irish Gaelic translation of "Kevin" is "Ceighmbin"? Near as I can tell, it's pronounced "Quiveen". Yes, "Ceighmbin" = "Quiveen". No wonder it's a dead language. The main thing the Irish seem to use the language for is to attack the United States without us knowing about it.

I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY RIGHT NOW, except for an embarrassing story and very trivial injury I suffered that I don't really want to tell you about.

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY: "My wife beats me in armwrestling" at Yahoo!

MARKNEW HAS POSTED ALT.UNIV PART III. It's very good--suspenseful near the end. He says he's got just one more segment to finish.

A GOOD DAY FOR FMG STORIES: Another one called The Megan Kale Project – Part 1, by RipTite.

BIG NUMBERS YESTERDAY! Over 1005 visitors--beating our old record of 873 in a single day. And that's by the conservative counter--I don't know what the other will say, yet. Probably 1200 or 1300.

FOR SOME REASON, we're getting enormous traffic today. Off the scale. And I've been tearing through the log files, but it doesn't look like it's coming from any one place. So I think maybe a lot of you were unable to check Lingster's Big Mouth after Thursday, and you're catching up. It looks like today will be our best day ever, by a margin of more than 12%.

AMONG THE HOME CHORES I MANAGED TODAY, on my day off: fiddling with the dish. I now have 95% signal lock on my DirecTV dish. Ninety-five percent, baby. No more compression artifacts for me! No more rainy-day-no-TV misery! I have 95% accuracy! Woo-hooo!

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY (2): "Katherine Heigl Measurement" on Yahoo! Of course, we're all big fans of the still-pneumatic Miss Heigl, who has managed to largely avoid the ravages of actor-exia. Three years ago she looked like this, and now she looks like this. Let's all hope she doesn't pull a Jennifer Connelly on us.

I'M HOME TODAY, watching Live with Regis & Kelly--Sean Connery is on. It's amazing the effect he still has on women--Kelly Ripa's voice has gone up half an octave, she's stuttering and speaking softly.

Sean Connery seems to be weary of Regis, but intrigued by Kelly. Kelly's pretty cute.

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY: "Free Kristianna Loken porn."

SPEAKING OF MAKING YOUR HEART GO THUMP-THUMP, here's a photo of Roselyn Sanchez.

I WAS BROWSING THROUGH SOME FEMALE BODYBUILDER SITES, and found a photo I remember from one of the muscle magazines, about ten years ago. On a very few occasions in my life, I've been so smitten upon meeting a woman that my heart starts pounding, my breath catches and the blood runs into my face. Only slightly more often have I experienced that same feeling upon seeing a photo of a woman. This photo, of Melissa Coates, is one of those. My recollection is that it was shown in a collage, among other photos from a bodybuilding event after-party. 1992?

Now, before you go clicking on that link, I need to alert you to a possible problem. It seems that when I post a link to a photo, you readers, lemming-like, flood the zone and sometimes crash the site. So here's what I want you to do: if your surname starts with the letters L-Z, I want you to wait until Tuesday to view the picture.

(I'm kidding.)

READER "H" FROM OLD NEW YORK WRITES:

Mighty Lingster:

Just wanted to drop a line to tell you that I love your blog. It's nice to see some quality writing in this Femuscle field. I've been a passive user of all the sites -- Valkyrie, Lovelifting, Yahoo Groups, etc. -- for quite some time, but have always felt a little like I was looking in on society's underbelly. I started to think that this little niche of ours was just too outside the mainstream. Made me want to stay in the closet with it.

But in your blog I hear the voice of a guy who I imagine is just like me. Or similar enough. I'm 30, educated, have a steady girlfriend, invest in a balanced portfolio of index funds, and get off on the idea Marika Johansson clean-and-jerking my ass over her head. This has always embarrassed me, probably always will. But it's nice to read Lingster every day and see that one can still be articulate, intelligent, and turned on by Amazons.

I appreciate that you read the times and in one sentence can reference a Safire editorial and in the next gush over Big Texas Jody May.

And by the way, any idea how many of us there are? in NYC? In the US? World? I'm curious just how mainstream this fixation is . . . maybe I'm more mainstream than I am giving myself credit for.

Well, being attracted to muscular women in definitely more mainstream than is widely discussed, but I'm not sure if all that many men are fixated on it. Let's break that down--there are attractions, and there are fixations. The latter is the province of fetish. For instance, most men like large breasts, but most men do not purchase JUGGS on a regular basis.

A few years ago, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. As probably occurs at a lot of reunions these days, a girl who was scrawny and plain in high school showed up with a bodybuilder physique. She showed it off to the best of her ability, and men's eyes followed her wherever she went. Her personality was transformed--she'd gone from being a mild extrovert to being a confident exhibitionist. She knew men liked to look at her brawny, curvy, sexy body, and strutted around like a showgirl in heat. Did a lot of men go home that night and fantasize about her? Probably. Are most of them still fantasizing about her? Probably not. Am I still fantasizing about her? About three times a month.

I also used to think we were the seedy underbelly of society. On at least two occasions in the 90s I declared the Lingster persona dead and disappeared, only to come back later. I was ashamed of the stories I'd written, guilt-ridden over being an enabler of autoeroticism. But I'm all over that. Recently I've begun to creep out of the closet--I arranged to meet Fistman at a bar in New York a few months ago, and I might even go to a show this summer or fall. (Fisty, btw, is a clean-cut, well-educated, very normal-seeming yuppie guy.)

I don't know how many of "us" there are, and by "us" I assume you mean femuscle fetishists, not growth or transformation fetishists. (Marknew and I have calculated that there are, online, no more than a few thousand female muscle growth fetishists. One of them is particularly obnoxious.) I couldn't tell you how many femuscle fetishists there are, but I suspect it's a big number. Lift and carry fans like yourself probably make up a quarter or so of the total. (I'm more of a "hold me down" than "lift me up" kinda guy.) Further, since the fetish is incubated by encountering muscular women, and there are more and more musclegirls every year, there's got to be a boom coming. Think of how many of us were sparked by Penny Price, Rachel McLish or Cory Everson, and now consider that half the gyms in America today have good-looking musclegirls in them. Muscular women are becoming reasonably commonplace, and Title IX has greatly increased the number of girljocks out there, too.

Thanks for the letter--I especially enjoyed the dissonant segue into Marika Johanssen clean-and-jerking your ass.

GOTTA FEEL SORRY FOR THIS POOR BASTARD. Sometimes when I'm drunk I feel a temptation to urinate on the third rail in the subway. I'm a little bit afraid that someday I might do it. Ha. That'd be something.

A PRETTY INTERESTING BLOG, Sensible Erection, similar to what we at Lingster's Big Mouth are trying for, but with photos and more explicit content.

MARILYN MONROE TRICEP SHOT. God, she was such a hottie. We ought to clone her and convince the clone to lift weights.

ONE REASON I LOVE PHOTOBLOGS. OK, I'm not sure I've got this right, but one of the people who runs Gothamist, Jake Dobkin, seems to have posted a photo (at his personal blog) of the other person who runs Gothamist, Jen Chung, making out in a bathroom stall last weekend. (A bathroom stall in a men's room?) A friend of mine in real-life told me about this--it's hilarious. I don't know who she was making out with, but from her photo, Miss Chung looks to be very nicely put together. She's a knockout! So you wouldn't expect her to be making out with some guy in a bathroom stall. Must have been the demon rum.

I STUMBLED UPON AN INTERESTING SITE while searching on "Nia Peeples muscles." It's part English, part German, but there's a good deal of interesting material there.

I MISSED THIS: The Experiment by Steve the Z.

A READER WHO WISHES NOT TO BE NAMED SENDS A LINK TO THIS ARTICLE. There's not much to be said about it, except that he better hit the weights while he's in prison, or she'll kick his ass when he gets out.

SOME NEW RENDERS BY A FELLA NAMED JON MALIS. He seems to have a real fondness for brawny, curvaceous Viking women. Here's an abridged list:

Norse Pin-Up
Norse Pin-Up II
Norse Pin-Up III (my favorite)
Sigrun
Skeggjold
He's MINE!!!
Gaellic Maiden

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! 227 years ago today, in Philadelphia, our forebears ratified in congress the Declaration of Independence. 27 years ago today, Queen Elizabeth II attended ceremonies in Philadelphia and presented the United States with a new bell from the same forge as the cracked Liberty Bell. Which just goes to show that King George III's descendants are still eating shit for his screw-up.

A BRANDY DRAWING THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE JAMIE REED. And it turns out Brandy was inspired by Lynda Carter, so casting Jamie as Wonder Woman would be nicely circular. Neat.

AAAAARGH!! Aaaaargh!! I couldn't even read it all the way through--it's too awful to contemplate.

FISTMAN POSTED SOME NEW JAMIE REED PHOTOS the other day. They oughtta cast Jamie as Wonder Woman, not scrawny Sarah Michelle Gellar. I could gaze at Jamie Reed all day long, she is sublime.

Plus she looks a bit like Brandy from Liberty Meadows, somebody call Frank Cho.

GENERAL HOSPITAL. OK, I taped General Hospital today because I read an exchange at Diana the Valkyrie about one of the actresses on the show becoming noticeably muscular. Her name is Alicia Leigh Willis, she plays a character named Courtney, and I can now confirm that she is pretty well built. I managed to screen cap a few frames from the videotape; maybe after tomorrow I'll have enough to set up another Yahoo! group and post them.

She's a really good-looking girl and it's great to see her showing some muscle. Another nice thing is that she's been on television for years, and there are many photos available of her looking un-muscled, so you can get a nice before/after effect.

I found a cached page of a message board from early last month. Great quotes:

"In my opinion, it detracts from the romance to see a hulking female with a man it looks like she could beat up."

"That shirt makes her arms seem even larger. The sweatsuits would at least cover them up!"

FUNNY SEARCH OF THE DAY: "old photos of Johnny Weissmuller".

FU-FUTURE POST-OST-OST!! Last week I wrote this:

KEEN EDDIE: Gotta admit, I love this new show on FOX. I probably should have told you fellas about it ahead of time (it's on Tuesdays at 9), but if you're east of the Mississip and reading this before 10 EST, turn it on. I'll "future post" a reminder for next week now (if that doesn't make sense, never mind.)

And five minutes later I wrote the post you're reading NOW! Through the magic of blog posting technology, I am able to write this post a week ago, and have it show up at precisely noon on this Tuesday. And here it is!